BEWARE. she's full of crap.

难过

2012-01-12T21:31:00.002+08:00

都说孩子是上天赐给一对夫妇的礼物。那为什么我每次怀孕都会觉得孩子是一种无形的负担？是我太年轻了吗？是我还想玩吗？不生也生了。还生了一个让所有人都疼爱，长得这么可爱的女儿。现在又怀了儿子。说老公有了孩子，老婆的地位就会动摇。我根本看不出我的老公很疼女儿。但我的地位好像还是动摇了。

每次怀孕，老公就特别爱与同事出去喝酒。我很讨厌他这样子。我怀孕，我变得很胖很自卑，希望他可以陪我，不要出去。他却觉得非得与同事出去，也认为我应该了解那是所谓的私人空间。私人空间如果变得要让老婆凌晨开车带女儿先回家，让老婆凌晨3点因为老公一个简讯都没有又还没到家而担心，让老婆看到老公从早上8点就一直断断续续跑到厕所里吐，而且我也说明我不喜欢他这样，那是不是该改变一下他所谓的私人空间时做的事？

我想这是结婚以来哭得最惨的一次。他竟然说他感觉不到我想从前一样爱他。我去哪里都先只想到女儿或老公。都会买他喜欢的东西。他说我们婚后都没有沟通。我每天都得问他当天做了什么，话题都是我先开始的。但怀孕了比较累，谈的也都不是什么新鲜刺激他爱听的吧。他说我不爱他？那我也想问他，那个以前会在我难过时哄我，向我说对不起的人在哪里？上街由我主动牵他的手，看电影由我先挽着他的手臂，上车后由我先打开话题谈话。我们心情不好，以前的我一定闹脾气，现在的我尝试多跟他说话让他心情好点，但他只会给我冷淡、毫无表情的答复。我做的这些他都看不到了。。。

回来以后，直接进了书房，等到看了上传的文字才出来质问我那是什么意思，说我们需要谈一谈。

婚姻是爱情的坟墓，我应该能够了解。

孩子能为婚姻增添幸福，我不肯定那一定发生在我身上。

我现在很难过，那是一定的。

Jung Geun Suk

2011-11-06T04:46:00.003+08:00

i'm very sure now i'm attracted by handsome looking guys who can look damn good with long hair.

first KT, 10 years and going.

and now, completely smitten by this korean guy. hahaha...(d' won't be jealous)

caught 2 of his dramas and 1 movie. Jung Geun Suk. You sure are a charmer. Acting skills superb, singing skills superb. I mean, he's only 24....

how i feel as a mother

2011-10-31T21:56:00.004+08:00

guess this is the only place where i can shout out all my complaints....other than complaining to d'.

can't believe what happened last night. nice one aunty.

听到你两句"你喜欢就好"根本还摸不着脑袋,电话就挂断了。我妈会在九点半结束他的麻将局，让我过去载她吗？不明。

接着妈妈打回来，淡淡地说自己会坐阿姨的车回来。回来又是一幅死鱼脸。说话没好气。

我忍不住问了。也爆发了。

so how did all these happen? i don't think i can even trace it back.

So my mom hurt her back and brought natalie to my grandma's to stay. My aunty helped to look after nat. All along she has showered her with a lot of care. everyone does actually. So there has always been this issue of me & d' unable to see natalie because my mom brought her to aunty's place and we are not aware of until we called my mom up. and also how relatives of MY SIDE request we let her stay there or bring her here, in order to cheer my uncle up when he's down.

So yes, to me as a mother, i have my husband upset because of all this but we are definitely appreciative of them willing to look after natalie when we need the help. so it has been months...

So we decided to bring her back on tuesday night for wednesday deepavali holiday as D's relatives were coming over to see her and they seldom get to see her. Aunty & mom said why not we don't bring her back for the weekend as they are all going to return on sunday and just let natalie stay for another weekend and spend time with my grandma & uncle (but they see her every alternate weekend..) I said no and perhaps jokingly said "but this one is my daughter leh". but yes, she IS my daughter and why should i let her stay over the weekend when i need time to bond with her myself???

we gave in and said we will bring her back on Saturday afternoon after my gynae appointment. So here comes the issue. On saturday morning on my way to gynae, my godma called and said she has brought natalie and the whole lot for breakfast and would like to bring her out in the afternoon, hoping i will not pick her up so soon. Fine. since Godma needs to bond with her too, i said we will call her again in late afternoon to check where they are and she kept repeating we should not be too early. okay change of our plans.

she called me again at 4pm and said they were in takashimaya and having a lot of fun but natalie took her nap so she want us to pick nat after both d' & 1 have gone for dinner. FWHAT?? yes. i had my husband shooting a glare over at me. of course no, we were suppose to bring natalie to join father in law for dinner..... so i told my godma d' is going for reservist and we had to have dinner with dad. WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN SOOOOO MUCH JUST TO PICK UP MY DAUGHTER????? IDK!!!!!!

i said d' is not going to be happy and godma said let her talk to d' instead. d' was firm in his tone and then after a few lines, he threw the phone on the bed and asked me to settle it. :(((

when i finally said we will pick her up at 6pm, godma didn't sound so pleased either.

tell me. WHAT THE FUCK??!

So we went over, everything was fine, Nat was having fun, we bidded goodbye to her granduncle, grandaunty (i thanked her for taking care of nat these 2 weeks), great grandma and we left. I promised to bring her back there next weekend, saying nothing about bringing her back just the next day when we pick mum up.

Then came Sunday when we were suppose to pick my mom up, called up my grandma's to check if mom will be on time, 2 auntys came to pick the phone but did not even get to speak to my mom. Aunty said "uncle is missing natalie so much, you bring her up to let him see for a while" but no, dad was around and we have decided to let nat stay with them in our house while we go over to just pick my mom. yes, that's when i got my 你喜欢就好 X 2. and the END of our phone conversation. WTF?!!?!

so i had to swallow that nonsense down? yes intended to but my mom's horrible tone and expression made me unable to!

so during our thrashing out, she said i threw her face by saying that "but she is my daughter" few days back and that made my aunty upset. FWAHHHHHHH. i lost it. so who will care about how i feel as a parent who has to explain and plead just to get my daughter back by my side? she said i have let people feel bad but i seriously think they are not, because they are still asking us to accede to ridiculous requests and i think they will continue to do so. found myself hiding in my 'fav' corner crying at midnight a while later.

how's it now? mom still showing her displeasure, we're not talking. she behaves so close to my sis and speaks to her in a nice tone while giving me the cold shoulder.

So i should be happy when people love my child? Yes i am. I know she is blessed. But i can't possibly be happy when people are giving me all sorts of reasons to stop me from bringing her home or seeing her. Thanks for the nice clothes and the toys. I should feel sad when my daughter stops being loved and no one wants to play with her? Yes i probably will but i can play with her if that happens.

Natalie is not as close to me as she is to my mom definitely. But she acknowledges me, kisses me on my forehead, calls me repeatedly when d' & i are with her and my mom is not around. I need the time with her because when others are around, she tends to play with them and not want my presence as much.

I AM TRULY VERY UPSET...

are you hurting someone via the net?

2011-09-10T19:06:00.003+08:00

facebook is really what everyone is into now. we forget about friendster, blog totally.

sometimes i wonder why we even post everything on fb. beats me. i do that too. but always be careful and think twice about what you're going to post as it is such a powerful tool and the response and consequences may be too great for you to handle.

I have a colleague who posted something against me but well, she removed the post probably someone reminded her of consequences, or, better still, she was still clear-headed. i couldn't get hold of the evidence and she got away with it. but things are better now. no more such things i hope.

you also will not want to post something negative of someone close to you just because the person is not a facebook user. i really see no point in writing something so demeaning to that person, causing friends in fb to have a bad impression of him/her. if your friends do not know the person well, they will trust your judgement and think negatively of that person. that is the effect you have created. then one day, when you feel happy, you decide to declare your love for this person and forget the fact that you have ruined his reputation before. friends may appear to be neutral but i suppose they feel kind of weird reading your totally conflicting posts. do not hurt the person you love. internet is for all to view and i certainly believe some things are still best to be kept private. we do not want to know your quarrels with your love (though it's real good gossip stuff!) we can survive without knowing all these info you know? :)

it's just contradicting and it makes people think what kind of person you are if you can even treat your closest one like this.

all of us post unhappy posts when we are upset, disappointed etc. but the ball is in your hands, to decide if you want to disclose more details or even write all the nasty remarks about the person that you can never take back...

i do not disclose my arguments, nor my unhappiness in marriage to friends or via the powerful internet tools. unless it's very grave matters, i will not tell my mother or my close friends. i think in a way, it's to protect the relationship and the person involved. it's definitely not to uphold the 'happy marriage' reputation as some people may view it as. my colleague holds the exact same view and 'policy' as me. she finds no need to pour her heart out to her close friends when she has a fight with her husband but her friends seem to have the habit to do that. when they find that she actually does have problems with her husband at times (who doesn't?!?! i don't believe in PERFECT marriages), they decided to distant themselves from her and said she's not a real friend and she's trying to make herself look good before them, people who have problems. ok, i mean, WHAT THE HELL???

so what if you let people know all your problems? you want all that support when you are feeling well. we understand. but, try to hold yourself together. sometimes, it may be good to settle the issue between yourselves instead of blasting it to your friends first. and it's true enough, sometimes, the person really doesn't know what you want.

one sentence to sum it all, grow up and be mature. after all, it's a marriage (of few years) you are talking about. and the person you claim to love most. since you've chosen him, accept all his weaknesses (and his family???!), or let him know what you expect and just hope he will change.

okay. that is all about my viewpoint. this is not a blog that is popular so i shouldn't have people writing comments to attack me. if you ever read this and find i'm targeting at you, maybe you've done something like this and will want to reconsider your actions..?

now, instead of posting this on fb, i think it's better to post here. i wanna shout it out loud. :P

natalie is going to be a sister next april :DDD

please let me be less hungry, grant me less weight gain! and of course, a healthy baby, though it is only 4cm big

goodbye~ till the next time i am free!

new house happy events!

2011-07-04T00:46:00.001+08:00

it's kinda sad that people neglect their blogs after they're obsessed with Facebook. i am rather ashamed to say i am one such person.

anyway, to keep it stayin' alive, i shall talk about my moving into the new flat and post my beloved natalie's first birthday photos! took place in our new flat and we had relatives and friends who came over for this joyous housewarming and birthday celebration. time really flies. it has already been 2 weeks since we have moved into this place and how glad am i to say that we really love the place. all the effort and money spent for renovation was worth it (except for some more rectification to wiring in the kitchen to be done).

i love bathing in my master bedroom bathroom which looks just so nice. we kept things simple for the living hall and our bedroom for we want our place to look as cosy and comfortable for the mind and soul when we return from a day of hard work. natalie's room was sort of designed by me. colors and wardrobe etc. study room was by both me & d' and we chose lime green , black & white to be a bit more daring :D all IKEA furniture in the study! may need to convert it into another kid's room if need be. so cheap furniture is the way to go!

i always joke about how me & d' are so young but we are married and have a car, a baby, a flat BUT no money. honestly, money is never enough and after all the shopping for household items (which is still going on!), it is really sucking our accounts dry. but i'm sure we are not the only ones out there like this.

i'm happy with my life (though not my job). happy with married life, my very cute and lovable daughter, and my silly husband (who both make me wanna vomit blood at times YET they bring me most laughter). Also very thankful to supportive mother and father-in-law, who both love their granddaughter to bits. (gugu & yiyi love her soooo much too!)

i will say i am blessed. Heaven, you've been kind. please continue to bless me and my family with good health and happiness in life :))

alright! now i shall end off with the photos!

why are things so bad

2011-04-08T04:48:00.003+08:00

i don't know what i am busy with. i have no time for TV, no time for husband, no time for marking, no time for improving my teaching and preparing good lesson materials, no time for SJAB, no time with Natalie. I mean quality time. I am torn between all these. Doing a bit of EVERYTHING and NOTHING to the best or at least the standard i know i can achieve.

Been asking myself why over the last few months. Both me and my colleagues are questioning ourselves "Are we incompetent? Is there something wrong with our time management"

I guess we both know the answer deep down but to change everything, you need a lot of courage. but if we do not take the plunge early, we will never be able to as time passes.

work and friendship is another issue. how can we clearly separate friendship issues from work issues? are we able to forget all the unhappiness at work and smile at each other happily just after hours the issue took place? Maybe some people can. I can't. And i feel rather miserable about this because I really thought it will not happen again, at least not so soon again.

arhhh miserable post. this Sat is going to be the 4th consecutive weekend burnt for work issues.

anyway, ID 3D design viewed. Not too bad i guess. Will be selecting tiles, toilet stuff and lightings soon! WOOT!

painful

2011-02-15T23:37:00.003+08:00

i am really very saddened by the news.

it is too sudden and too painful for the family to endure.

why take away the happiness at the loss of one when happiness just arrived not long ago with the addition of one.

be strong Doris & Denis. may the lord really guide the little boy to heaven, where he deserves his happiness.

what's up in the new year?!

2011-02-06T08:46:00.009+08:00

2010 was probably the year with the least number of posts!

Will work harder for 2011. But i am even busier in 2011!
anyway, it's the 4th day of chinese new year and i am glad to say we have been keeping ourselves busy with all the house visiting for all the first 3 days.. Natalie has collected a very impressive amount of angpao money which will go into her personal savings account. Govt match a dollar for a dollar. hoho!

the girl is good. learning to crawl now. can see that she's trying very hard. :)) she's the centre of attraction wherever we go. i always say she's really blessed, to have so many people to love her, play with her. and of course, Daryl & I are blessed too. Because we have her as our child. But this little imp is super active so we are already thinking how to discipline her properly in the future.

June went to New Zealand for her studies. so nice to meet an old friend and so glad to see that everything is going smoothly for her, career, study etc. My 2 other dear ladies are doing fine too and that's comforting to know as well. :))

Ann and Bryan is back and they are getting married in June~ :))) I was invited to be the mandarin emcee and i gladly take up the role, just hope that Josh will entertain my jokes. ha! really happy for them... more couples getting hitched! (meaning more babies to come and join the group!) even before them in June, we have Joe & Nita tying the knot in May!

People we love are doing well and are having their life journeys falling in the right pace and places. There's nothing to be jealous of. Feeling happy for them just as how they will do for us!
Our flat is ready! Collection of keys on 16 Feb and this is really another big step to our big family... going to keep it (furniture) minimal and simplistic. modern dining area, homey living, zen bedroom, funky study, spacious kitchen hopefully, pretty bedroom for the little one............ :))
realize i did not mention work? Bah! haha... because it's new year! we're suppose to talk about happy things! HOHO. enjoy the last picture! love it.

敌友？

2010-12-09T14:14:00.005+08:00

你有过这样子的经历吗？

跟一个好朋友工作到现在两人的关系像陌生人一样。这好朋友的关系是怎么建立的？是当她还是你上司的时候，什么工作都自己扛着，不常分配工作，也不分享任何资源。陌生人的关系又是怎么造成的？是当她一旦分配工作时，那一波又一波的工作量接踵而来，从来没有任何资源的你手足无措，不知道要如何接手被安排的工作。

她既勤劳又拼命，但是总是换来别人“她做事每次都是事倍功半，爱把简单的事情复杂化”的评价。这一点，我同意。因为事实摆在眼前，的确如此。和她合作是一进入学校报到就开始了。才工作两个月就被分配与她一起带队出国的工作。别人都说“啊。你跟她同一个课外活动？？”他们脸上的表情总让你觉得是否有什么不妥的，让你开始想象这个人到底有多恐怖。可是一切都那么的平静。。。。

终于在合作了一年后，开始明白她做事非常的没有系统，也完全不顾学校的一些办事规矩。甚至有的时候，你真的怀疑这是否真的是一个任教了五年的教师。年初，她被令让我和另一位老师接任课外活动总负责人的职务。去年年底还一直高兴的跑来告诉我她多么开心终于有人能够帮她接去这个重任了的她，今年年初竟然会跑到她的上司那儿说我和另一位老师做得不好，把事情搞得一团糟。她的心，永远放不下那个总负责人的职位。那真的很重要吗？我一点都不稀罕。那为什么自己又肯接任？因为如果不尽快把整个课外活动的根基纠正过来，不知道有多少学生要遭殃。

她的一举一动，我不敢苟同。看过别的主任如何大声命她闭嘴，也见过校长副校长如何命她不需要再辩驳与解释。她的坚持很多时候令人反感。她留下的烂摊子让我收拾还不够，还老是在我们很重视的校友们面前说她也在帮忙把事情办好，让学生受益。我看不过去。

她自己造成的麻烦，我见多了，也不愿意在这里多说，但有的真的很夸张。是看在朋友的面上才没有在校长面前拆穿她的谎言。但是一想到那时候打着肚子还得整天承受与她一起工作但她又非常不配合的压力，我就会很生气、难过。

失去这段友谊，我感到可惜。

间接导致她失去她看得很重的“权势”，我感到抱歉。

看到她一再的被抨击，我为她感到失落，但我最希望的是她可以明白其他人的看法，更懂得开始学习如何与别人合作，接受别人的处世方式。一天不从跌倒的地方爬起来，她就只能注定永远被人视为做事不讲理、不讲规矩，很难相处的一个人。

这个朋友，我的的确确是失去了。

my girl

2010-12-07T12:41:00.002+08:00

my little girl rolled over by herself last night. i am really happy i was there to witness that! it was weird in the sense that normally we will leave my sis' house at 10pm but last night for some reason which i do not know of, i just didn't want to leave the place early. and then at 10.40pm, she rolled over. twice! and i was the first and only person who saw her do that. :))

she was so cute. once she learnt to roll over, she doesn't seem to like lying down on her back, she just kept rolling over once we put her back in the same position on her back.

she's beginning to wave her hand (flap may be a better word) whenever we say byebye to her.

18 oct 2010 ---- she held her milk bottle on her own.
6 dec 2010 ---- she rolled over

Natalie is such a lovely baby. You may not think so but I, as her mother adore her so :)

he's 28.

2010-11-30T11:17:00.002+08:00

happy birthday dear!

not every man can celebrate his 28th birthday with a lovely wife and a super duper cute 5 months old daughter.

HAHA.

frustration

2010-11-19T05:35:00.002+08:00

do you think i care for the post?

i do not like to work when everyone is sleeping.

i do not like to work when i know no one/not many are truly serious about their work/role.

i do not like to work like there's not tomorrow. Because i want to welcome every day happily!! and not groan when it's another workday

i do not like this. NOT AT ALL.

we are paid single salary but doing 3 persons' job. Incredibly disgusting.

I am so busy and it's only one-third of my job scope. holiday's not going to be holiday. Holiday has never been holiday.

do i want to get out of this? YES. maybe i should migrate to Australia too. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

going back to work :(

2010-10-31T23:36:00.002+08:00

reporting back to work officially tomorrow... after 5 months?? (not counting the one wk relief in september....) i stopped working since end of may... argGgHHhhhh.... HOW DID THE 18 WEEKS JUST FLY PASS LIKE THIS??

i am totally not looking forward to be back in school. It's going to be 3 weeks of officially reporting as students are already enjoying their holidays. but still, going back to work...

i can't see natalie's happy face and her smiles in the day... i can't giggle when i see her cute face...of course it's not so bad now..especially when the dec hols are approaching soon. it's more like when school reopens next year. next year will be the last year of my bond.

i feel numb to fellow teachers' conversation & excitement when they talk about their passion for the job and also how the students are grateful... is it because it hasn't happen to me for a long while since i was on almost half a year's leave? or is it because the passion is really just not there anymore? the latter has definitely got to do with the insane amount of work and the demands of this job. we are expected to be super human beings. DAMN.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

let's have another baby next year. ha!

happy 1st year of marriage!

2010-10-10T23:39:00.006+08:00

happy wedding anniversary dear!
i know i have a bad temper...but it's already much better-controlled after i married you..

i know you love to drive very fast....but it's already much safer after we got married and have Natalie...
i know you love to fart and you know i love to drool....

we know each other's flaws so well that i don't think any other person in the world can tahan us, except ourselves..
we just have to make do with each other. hahahhaha...but for this entire lifetime :)))
I LOVE YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH!
and thanks for giving me our cute little natalie to be with us on this special day...
i love your card... very nicely done (was just teasing you) and i actually wondered on Monday when i was wrapping your present that you were actually lying about having to work OT so that you could make me a gift. hahahah spot on!

thanks for the iphone 4 offer/surprise!! told you to cancel the order not because i don't like it.. because i really don't want you to spend so much money. I already have my baby bag.. :))

i love the dinner very much though!! very nice & interesting place..... i am very glad we actually went to such a nice restaurant like Paulaner rather than a posh, fine-dining kinda place. HEE. i am NOISY. so maybe laughter-filled restaurants suit me more!

thank you baby!!

the tomb of love?

2010-09-22T11:38:00.003+08:00

he's making the effort to put things right in place again. to make baby happy by playing with her. to make wife happy by being sweet & caring towards her.

marriage is a lifetime commitment.

many are afraid to commit. yet many dare to jump into it. but i congratulate my kawan who is one of the daring ones :)

most friends around me will soon be either getting married, married, married with kids or having a steady relationship. this is really a sign that we have grown up.... this is life. :))

keep the sparks going on?

2010-09-15T20:43:00.002+08:00

it's the 3rd month into my maternity leave. let me explain the situation now. i stay in punggol at my mom's place most of the days now so as to look after my baby. i only return to my place in yio chu kang say once during weekdays to keep him company so as to say. not to mention bringing natalie back to yio chu kang on friday night to stay with us during the weekend, so daryl can play with her more. him going to punggol every day after work is not working. baby can be asleep during the 2 or 3 hours he's there. he can be so busy and tired with his work he does not go and interact with natalie.

so that's about Nat.

what about me?

i am totally bored at punggol. we do not go out. looking after nat is my whole day activity. well, mom helps to look after her too.. there is this date night thing i would say. ie the weekday i get to go out with daryl. you see. the point is when we go out, and if it's about me shopping (for nat's stuff most of the time), i feel guilty. i do. but he can't seem to give better suggestions of what to do either.

then when you see that boring and tired face, you just can't seem to want to do anything anymore. he can be tired. but it's already like this on monday & tuesday. the only night i get to go out with him, can't he just be a bit more enthusiastic about it? i yearn to go of out punggol so that i can have fun or just simply spend time with him. but things just do not happen as how i thought it would be. so we simply ate at punggol plaza and then drove back to yck house, and not go anywhere. how do i feel now? i really think punggol is a more interesting place all of a sudden and natalie is far more interesting than my husband.

keep the sparks going on? it was when we were courting. but married life is simply 'sparkless'. who's not making the effort? who's taking who for granted? maybe both at fault for this. but who's neglecting who? he dares to say i neglect him because of Natalie. then how about me? he's neglecting me because of his work and something else maybe.

my girl doesn't even like her daddy to play with her....

someone, help......

my natalie

2010-09-14T13:38:00.003+08:00

my girl was born a small baby. she is now double the birth weight. and she is getting chubbier & cuter each day.

everyone around her loves her. that includes grandpa, grandma, great grandparents, god-grandma, aunties, uncles, great aunts & great uncles... lovable baby she is when she is happy. grouchy at times but you soon forget how naughty she is once she smiles at you.

she has so many pieces of clothing now! her mommy is constantly buying her new clothes to fill up her drawers. and i will buy her a cute closet so she can have her own cute space :)

her daddy does not have a lot of time after work but he tries to spend as much time as he can with her. she is growing each day and she recognizes her mommy's voice and face already. so sweet...

Natalie, be a good girl k? Papa & Mama love you so much!

back to work. good thing it was just 1 wk

2010-09-04T15:58:00.003+08:00

what a week. i went back to school and many colleagues were surprised to see me. yep, went back but just for a week. my strategy to extend the leave (prevent the sept hols to be counted into my ML)

monday was hectic already! even though it was just being a relief teacher.

tuesday was fun! teachers' day celebration...took photos with princess Fiona, batman & cat woman!

wednesday was a day out with dear...we left the house and nat early. had my fav chimichanga & nachos at Margarita's for lunch! then off to MS for shopping & KTV...and finally had steamboat @ crystal jade xiaolongbao at holland v... :))

thursday was supposed to be a light-duty day with only 3 lessons...but you know... ADHOC stuff! did not get to eat my lunch till 4pm....good thing dear came all the way to pick me up.

friday was CCA friday but i did not expect it to be soooo bad :(( in fact, on thursday afternoon, it dawn on me that the entire nightmare is back...and true enough, the stress level experienced on friday was as high as before maternity leave. the jobs not done properly by others fall back onto u. that is the worst. that explains why when Mr Ho asked "how's coming back to sch?". i replied "SUCKS".

i'm not saying i am perfect. but just like what chia chia said, even when we are arrowed to do something, we can't bring ourselves to do the task sloppily, our conscience just does not allow us to. but somehow, other people have the cheek to! grrr... doing double work is just NOT FUN. clearing the shit that other people left is NOT FUN too!!

okay enough grumbling. i'm back to maternity leave. but things just seem to be coming my way... how to delegate?? breathe. do it another day. just not this weekend.

enough about school. at least seeing Natalie makes me smile....phew~ she is learning to make noise more often now. always smiling and 'talking' to me & dad. very cute... :))) my little sweetie. her dad will try to treasure me more now too i think... :)

woes of a new mom

2010-08-27T14:47:00.004+08:00

i fully understand what do all those 'conflicts with the older folks when it comes to parenting' articles mean now...

it is not to say that they are entirely wrong and we young parents do heed their advice and learn from them because they are far more experienced than us.. trust me, even if you think your parents are just too strict to pamper your child, YOU ARE WRONG!

the fiercest parents are able to dote on your child to the extent they do not do what they told you to! things like:

1) do not carry each time they cry, it may spoil them
2) do not overfeed. just give water before the feeding time

yep, i have my fair share of all these 'confusing actions & talk' and it certainly made me have an argument with my mom and feel very sad that why is it that i seem to be doing things the 'wrong' way.

and please, new moms who want to breastfeed your babies, be prepared to stand up to your decision when your mothers keep insisting that you will not have enough breast milk to make your baby feel full or that formula milk is better. We read up to get ourselves prepared so we know what is best for our babies.

:))) so it's very important to have the support of a loving and understanding husband. and i am very glad i have one.

photos of my girl

2010-08-19T13:43:00.010+08:00

this is small Natalie on the day she was born; 3rd July :))pictures from natalie's first month celebration at my mother's house in Punggol on 31 July!Pictures from the tea party at my house in yio chu kang on 1st August!
Cute & curious nat on her new toy seat for the 1st time!

Nat enjoying the bath, as always! i like bathing her....erm she just happened to stop smiling when i snapped the shot.

My little girl enjoying herself as a little happy frog :)

little pink riding hood playing with her grandma and smiling away.....

Here's cute little nat sitting on the couch beside my present from hubhub~ Whee! a very nice Burberry Baby diaper bag :)) that's my birthday gift & anniversary gift. the push present will be Hong Kong trip this October!

don't she just look so different from the say she was born? hahah.. from resembling more like her dad, she is beginning to look more like me! this little imp is getting naughtier day by day too...bahhh...but her daddy & mommy will not let her get her way all the time!! we love her. in our special way :)

natalie's first month celebration!

2010-08-08T16:16:00.002+08:00

i have not been blogging....but i have been kept busy by a lot of things. related to NATALIE of course.

her first month celebrations took place last Saturday and Sunday and before that there was lots to settle. finally it's over~!! and being the usual her, Natalie slept through the party and only opened her eyes when the last group of guests left. thank you friends and relatives who gave us your best wishes & sweet gifts!! will upload the photos soon!

she is a healthy & bubbly baby girl now! haha her little trotters..chubby cheeks...double chin which she can't hide!

it's only one week after confinement period and she has been out with me 4 times!! :))) we bought her ferrari carseat yesterday at the baby fair at takashimaya. also bought my pretty girl 3 more dresses. woohoo! gonna purchase the diaper bag SOON too!!

okie, gotta go play mahjong. Happy National Day Holiday to all~~ :)

a wish list for nat

2010-07-13T20:34:00.003+08:00

both daryl & i started buying the necessities for natalie since March during the baby sales.

friends have been asking what do we still lack. so here's a wish list that may help :)

1) CUTE play mat with toys on the arch
2) suitable toys for HER
3) COOL Diaper bag for me & d' to put her stuff when we bring her out
4) BABYBJORN baby carrier
5) Photo Albums for us to keep the baby photos
6) baby high chair for feeding (daryl's aunts & grandma have bought it!)
7) baby car seat/booster
8) baby walker
9) Baby First Year photo frame (my Sis got it for Nat!)

she brings us joy & laughter

2010-07-13T19:17:00.004+08:00

baby natalie is sleeping on the pillow placed on the couch now :) her determination to sleep is very strong. haha... Ps, Jr and jeanie tried to wake her up for 3 hours last night but it was just a fruitless attempt.

planning for natalie's full month celebration parties now. yes, 2 parties. one for my relatives, one for friends and colleagues.

my natalie is a little gem and she makes people around her happy. be it gong gong, ah ma or yiyi. i can really tell they love her very very much. she is full of expressions and she is a good baby. although she wakes papa & mama up a few times in the night but we don't grumble. because the joy she brings us outweighs all these hassles & inconvenience.. :))) mummy & daddy love baby natalie

my precious little one

2010-07-09T13:47:00.006+08:00

the pregnancy has come to an end as my baby natalie popped out to see the beautiful world on saturday 3 july 2010 at 1531 hrs... :))

was the process painful? let's see... 9 and a half hrs of labour pain before the final 2 pushes. yes, just 2. because my baby is quite small. only 2.65kg, all nurses say she is a small baby, but mama believes you will grow chubby in no time k! the 9 hrs of labour pain (contraction) started since 6am and we only drove to the hospital at 9.40am. when we got there, dear and i walked to the delivery ward and then i stayed there all the way till baby was delivered. i said 'no' to epidural injection. just thought why not try to endure first, so did not take any of the 3 pain relief methods. when the doc finally came at 12.30pm, he broke my water bag (not with the scary long sharp object, he just poked with finger to check the dilation and then it broke) medicine was injected (i was on drip) to induce stronger contraction so we can reach the stage whereby contraction occurs every 2 min. (it turned out to be every 1 min!!!! ahhhh...) all this was to make sure cervix can dilate faster so i won't be in pain for too long.

pain got stronger and stronger and it got really bad since 1pm. so that was when i decided to use the gas to make me feel less pain. all nurses came in, look to my left and asked where is the epidural. when they heard i don't use it, they asked if it is my 2nd child... haha.. you will need well-controlled breathing here... i can't talk i can't eat. so there i was, lying there with empty stomach for the whole long day...

hmmm, the feeling is really quite like going to the loo just that it is painful till you will start groaning. i hope i did not frighten the lady in the next ward. but seriously, i think i was the quiet kind already. daryl went downstairs to collect smth from dad and i pressed for the nurse because i really felt like pushing already. nurses came in and straightaway set up everything and ensured me doctor is on the way and they increased the gas so i felt really sedated and giddy. once the mask is taken off (i tried to take out cos i felt giddy) the pain was just THERE to make you immediately place the mask back over your face. daryl came in and i think he was shocked to see everything set up. then doctor rushed in and in less than 1min's time, i was pushing under his instructions. but baby came out in say 20 secs??? haha.. POOT. and all you hear is natalie's loud wails. the nurses said 'wah you very good arh! can give birth to 6!' doctor said 'if all patients can do it so easily like you that will be wonderful'

after which was daryl taking photos of the natalie who was super active and alert... i was just lying there getting stitches. no snipping involved but there was a small tear... :) and it's slowly healing now. hope my haemorrhoids heal fast too..............................

this is the real woman kinda experience. hahah.

yes, i am a real woman now :)

and this is my favourite photo of natalie so far... and she is indeed my greatest birthday present this year...

anticipation

2010-06-27T23:54:00.002+08:00

i think daryl is really happy today. hahah...

anyway, my long-awaited break is here. no school !! but my 'bag' is all packed. haha for the hospital stay.

really glad that my baby has passed the 2.5 kilo mark. was so upset when she did not grow in wk 37. guess she really likes the ham & cheese sandwiches & milk that i have been feeding her/myself in the past week. otherwise how can we justify the 200g increase in weight in this 1 wk?

i'm now in this situation whereby i want natalie to pop out so i won't be putting on 1 kilo every week!! already freaggin' 20 kilos on me.........................boooooooooo. i have ballooned up. yet i am afraid of the pain that is coming my way.

go natural as far as possible, violet. *breathe*

blessed

2010-06-16T16:28:00.002+08:00

cold weather makes everyone lazy... but my guy woke up early this morning to send his sis to work. while i zzzzzzz away...

thought of asking him to buy me polar puff for breakfast on his way back but decided not to because it might be troublesome...

but this lovely man came back into our room half an hour later with Mcdonald's deluxe breakfast for me..!

what can i say? my heart and mind just told me this "you're a blessed woman........" :)

it's the LONG break

2010-06-07T10:06:00.003+08:00

yay...finally lazybones got her work review and marker's reports done.

i regret to say i still have leftover marking to do......urgh..

and lots to do for SJAB because i can't leave Siti (my Co-OIC) to do everything while i happily go and enjoy my maternity leave...

july bonus is not meant for spending but for baby natalie...who is coming to see the world in 5 weeks' time! whee...!

my mum took out my baby clothes and also bought her new clothes on top of what i had bought. now she has one whole drawer. haha lucky girl... she's been rolling too much in me recently and her dad is totally amazed at how active this little one can be. see how small the little sweater i used to wear is. Daryl has a Calvin Klein one which has exactly the same design...hahah..

holidays holidays. let me get a good rest please :)

marking's completed. baby's super active

2010-05-16T22:53:00.005+08:00

i deserted my blog for 1 & half months already... and i forgot that i have deserted it. just how busy can the school term be..

i can happily declare i finish marking the 120 compositions, 120 letter writing & 130 paper 2 scripts!!!!!!!!! HOORAY~~~ and the bulk of it 70% done in 3 days. hahahah... i am still a last-minute worker. never learn from the lessons....

it was more of calculation and tabulation of marks today. i'm going to puke if i see anymore numbers..... poor 3N students. i think 70% flunk their exams...

anyway, just another 9 school days and the long break awaits me! and then the 3 days in september for relief teaching duties to 'break' the maternity leave. finally 3 weeks of post exam reporting beginning 1st november, before the end of year holidays....

yes, if i can choose again, i wanna conceive in october again. hahahha. but baby natalie's younger sibling, i guess you have to arrive 2 or 3 years later k. let me lose those kilos first.

daryl just said 'wahhh, you still have waist leh. actually from the back you don't look pregnant, just bah'... that's what many people said, and they say by traditional way of predicting (age and period baby is conceived, view of waist from the back, skin pigmentation yada yada..) they will guess it's a baby boy. but i have already bought quite a bit of baby girl stuff for baby natalie................... and i want a baby girl now...

less than 2 months to go. haha and our neighbour got a shock when he knows baby's due in july. cos he only saw pregnant me last week. it's either he really never sees me or i really conceal the tummy well. hahah...

baby cot bed will be assembled in june. yes, we are waiting for your arrival~! and stop kicking me and rolling so much inside. i know you are running out of space but mummy will feel better if you don't have such big reaction when you are hungry.

she is cute. she jumped and rolled when we heard thunders today :))) my dear girl. the excitement outweighs the fear.

love the long weekend!

2010-04-04T23:48:00.003+08:00

this is the 910th post for this blog.

watched 'Clash of the Titans' with dear last night after the first aid competition at St John HQ last night. very nice show :)))

The kids did us proud, by doing their best yesterday and i truly believe that was good enough... my NC team did so well for their Home Nursing component! wonderful.... :) i hope the kids after crying realise how important and valuable this competition and the experience mean to them.

Friday was a good day out with close friends and dear. Went to carousel and had a super satisfying high tea buffet (which led to a super bad gastric problem the whole day after that :/ ) But still, it was enjoyable. the show 'bruce almighty' sent me and dear laughing all the way. followed by a supper session with dad at Jalan Kayu. Fantastic. :)

did work on friday but can't say the same for saturday and sunday..oops.

okay gotta sleep soon and my dear baby is kicking like nobody's business inside me!! she kicks so hard for a few times and whenever i put her daddy's hand to feel, just to see how naughty she can be, she stops her kicking totally~! wahhhh.... naughty.

and yes, i feel FAT. hahah.. totally unattractive....

this exciting journey

2010-03-28T12:37:00.003+08:00

the one week break has passed by so fast. and yet another week of school has passed since then. i'm left with 9 weeks of work before i can go for my maternity leave. WHEE! the EDD is right smack after june hols and the dec hols will be around the corner after i resume going back to school somewhere in mid/late Oct.

this wasn't something planned but i'm beginning to feel it's truely a blessing to have baby now. my tummy is quite 'pointy' so there have been quite a few people telling me i'm expecting a boy. the only person who has told me it's a girl is my gynae, who through the ultrascan, cannot find anything between baby's thighs. haha. we shall see okay? see if it's baby natalie... because she responds by kicking so often when we say 'natalie kick kick'. love you baby... :)

anyway, i can say my bonus has been spent wisely. it all goes to baby this time round.

baby stroller? checked.
cot bed? checked.
milk bottle sterilizer? checked.
milk bottles? checked.
breast pump? checked.
cooling teethers? checked.
mittens? checked checked.
bib? checked.
cute toys? checked.
baby napkins? checked.

hahaha dear & i went to the baby fair at takashimaya 3 times before finally getting the cot bed yesterday! but of course before that, looking at the list, i bought a whole lot of other stuff.

i'm thrilled. baby's gonna be sleeping with us in our room (gonna be some furniture shifting~!) during weekends. that will be the plan after i go back to school. but before that, i will have full 6 months with her. and i need my mum's help. tonnes. haha.

i saw evelyn's baby girl nadia and she's so cute now at 6 months old........ can't wait.... :)

i've put on 10 kilos but she's only 700+ grams. hahaha... so cute. and i am determined to slim down after july!!! colleague have been talking to natalie and not me. like shirley will say 'bye natalie' and totally ignore me. haha.

work has been fine. adapting to the real world and opening my eyes to see what's really going on. but i'm still glad to have colleagues who can lend me the support!

alright, back to work. hope everything is fine for everyone :)))

once in a while. let me blog.

2010-03-07T18:09:00.005+08:00

just saw the name for this blog being 'BEWARE. she's full of crap' and this thought comes into my mind. i think my life is full of crap now. well, besides being happily pregnant with baby natalie inside me and daryl being so loving.... work is quite ahem, yes crappy.

i spent the entire february doing work till the extent i have no time to blog, no time to talk to d' at night. (we only talk in the car when he fetches me or over dinner time) it's either working till wee hours (for a teacher) or waking up at weird hours to send emails. I have no idea how my life transformed till this stage... is it just worklife?? i mean, d' and i we are both working like that. i'm seriously looking forward to my maternity leave now... all the way from june holidays to end of dec holidays. but i will report to school somewhere in mid-oct... :)

i bought my first gift for natalie. 3 cute & pretty headbands... hahahah... looking forward to the baby fair in 2 weeks' time and also the sale at toysR'us!!

okay some photos taken during CNY!

i just wanna be a happy teacher.

2010-01-31T13:05:00.003+08:00

one month since i last blogged.

i'm on the 'escape' mode. which is really bad. time to wake up to face reality.

i can't really work under stress, can i?

trying to catch my breath here. the work is never ending.

why are teachers so tired these days. everyone is crumbling down. mentally.

damn it.

new year. good beginning.

2009-12-31T12:58:00.002+08:00

one final posting before the year comes to an end!

hope everyone had an enjoyable christmas celebration last week. i did. good food. laughter. close ones and really good friends. big feast, laksa steamboat, bakerzinn yada yada.

dear surprised me with a table reservation at margarita's on tuesday. i've been talking about the chimichanga non-stop so i think he wanted to shut me up. haha no la.. he was being sweet and nice to me. but baby hershey wasn't nice to me. made me feel bloated and yes, the food was wasted in the end. but still, i appreciate hubhub's effort to make me feel happy.

baby's about 2 & half months old. growing inside me. it's a very special feeling. i already have 2 photographs of you. haha tiny little one. growing 23mm in 2 weeks. causing me to feel fat, bloated, nauseous, uncomfortable etc etc. i do complain but never about having you.

be it boy or girl, i just hope you will be a strong, healthy and happy baby :) mummy and papa love you.

see you in june/july 2010~!!

colleagues more or less got to know about it. they are very nice to me and reduce my workload. as i most probably won't be going back to school after june hols till sch reopening in jan. everyone's nice to me. most are telling me to eat more. i shall try to control as far as i could. i'm already a freaking 58.4kg now. boohoo.

new year resolution: be a good teacher who cares and can inspire students. and a good mummy!

we're back!

2009-12-14T14:40:00.006+08:00

back from japan honeymoon for a week already. feel lazy to post. haha. prob post more photos in facebook... found the trip too long. we were really missing singapore delicacies so much we wish we could fly back earlier.

the trip was quite fun. the side trips were really nice... visited takayama & shirakawa-go in Nagoya, as well as kawaguchi-ko from Tokyo. excellent hotel room there. (it has to be, looking at the amount we paid)

just went to see the doctor. haha we were all smiles when we saw you for the first time. couldn't stop giggling. haha sorry dear. i feel very blessed now :)

countdown

2009-11-12T22:21:00.001+08:00

it's just 10 days to honeymoon :)

we did not get 'sentosa cove', but we got something else. much bigger.

daryl is happier than me. he just keeps laughing.

how was HALLOWEEN for you?

2009-11-01T14:46:00.003+08:00

halloween at dbl O last night.

usual company + samm and friends.

usual drinks had no kick. bacardi 151 did. had fun. dancing laughing.

:)

newly wed's saturday night out

2009-10-25T02:39:00.002+08:00

less than a month to japan!! woohoo!!

it was fun tonight. d's still playing wii downstairs. so here i am blogging.

night car spin to ECP. coffee bean craving satisfied. metal slug 6 kept us entertained for at least 20 minutes. the couple left the place feeling happy and loving! :)

OUR BIG DAY! (to be continued)

2009-10-19T09:01:00.010+08:00

haha i know this is late. i've once again stopped blogging for a long time. wedding is something people would normally blog big time about but i was busy with moving stuffs into d's and i still have yet to get the pics from the many people who took photos for us that day (PLENTY!)

so with the pictures from the photographer from bridal shop and my own camera, i present to you daryl and violet's BIG DAY on 10 oct 2009........!

my dear girls who really helped out a lot...

with my close ones...
the guys who didn't know what they were in for before charging straight to my doorstep. haha..
after much torture...his family during tea ceremony back at my house for tea ceremony solemnisation at hort park...at the little seed room.. we had tea-serving ceremony before all these photos..
the wedding favour we picked for our guests...my lovely and wonderful emcees for the night...
the evening event at hort park begins...we were peeping while the guests were watching the video montage i created.
the first march-in (or walk in? haha) thanks to my cousins and my pri sch friends who made the most noise!! very joyous moment for me! cake-cutting and then we had some free time to entertain our guests!! that was the basic expectation... we wanted time to talk to our guests and we did it :)

the second march-in followed by laughter(d's) & tears(vio's) during speech, a simple toast and last but not least, the individual table photo-taking.. :) with my best cousins!event started at 6.30pm sharp & ended at 9pm. hahah.. early... darling gave me a surprise on the hort lawn. and after packing up and bidding goodbye to our wonderful friends who helped out, d' and i went to st. james for our 2nd round of party!! whee!!! (hahah that i was scolded by my colleagues saying i was crazy.."why got people after wedding go clubbing one??" hmmm... there you go! we're the first whom u know who do that!! we erm clubbed till 4am. hahah... let this clubbing photo end the entire post!

6 days to go!!

2009-10-04T16:16:00.002+08:00

have been busy with many many stuff.

d's compiling the songs now.
I've finalized the video montage.
seating arrangement? checked.
collecting gown on wednesday...hope i've not grown fatter.
meeting JP on tuesday...
leave taken on friday. enjoy last day of singlehood. haha... manicure/pedicure/girl chat session
honeymoon accommodation settled

we're gonna have a memorable wedding..... that we can call our own.

purple sage's shirley is much more reliable... so we can have peace of mind.

okay, now for some updates. d' & i watched "ugly truth" last saturday and it was a really funny show. then we watched 'surrogates' just on friday after my hen's party. the show was pretty good too. :)

ahh let's talk about the hen's party. thank you babes~~!!! xuemin, though you weren't there, i know you love me. hahaha. thank you jiehan, angeline and yixian!! bestest buddies. for 13 years already. haha...

thanks for the sexy ahem lingerie, the masks and the very very nice beautiful card.... love you bunch loads. thanks for helping with the wrist corsages... you girls are really nice & sweet... can't thank enough.

haha i shall wait for the photos in facebook. the pretty ones. the funny ones and the err ugly ones. hahah...

it's mid sept!!

2009-09-18T16:04:00.003+08:00

it's already mid-september...meaning the big day is just 22 days away!

hopefully things will not go wrong. caterer and stuff will all go perfect.

was on mc on Monday. i'm on MC again today. 2 MCs in a week. right after school holiday. I hope i won't be blacklisted. haha. really bad throat. the treatment cost me quite abit of money. bahhh. i promise i will never ever chat in a club anymore..

just hope d' will not get the germs from me.

just had a long good talk with his dad. for like 4 hours plus? haha... so much to talk about. pleasant one. i hope it will be like that from now onwards.

it takes 2 hands to clap. give and take. not too much control over the other. not too domineering. let live and let go. valuable lesson learnt. from the talk with his dad and also what happened lately. for both of us i hope. i want this marriage to last this lifetime. it's just sweet and nice to be able to see him first thing in the morning.

the guest list is almost settled. the girls' dresses are half settled. the games are not. the second montage is not really done up. the songs that uncle jim picked are not added in. the honeymoon accomodation's not settled. hahahha. gosh. we're running out of time. but i'm definitely looking forward to marrying this man.

him & i

2009-09-07T11:59:00.000+08:00

it's the start of the one week sept school holidays.

everything will start afresh. for both of us. we have learnt to love each other all over again. a very valuable lesson indeed. busy wedding preparation and i know it will all be worth it because at the end of the day, we're gonna remember for life that we had a wedding we call our very own. :)

sending out invites very very soon. starting from today!

tickets for japan honeymoon trip have been booked. spending 14 days with 1 very special someone in 3 different cities. sweet numbers to remember.

exam papers to set. wedding preparation to settle. last month to slim down further and to tone my body. ahem. not sure how i'm going to do that though. haha.

that's all for now. bye guys.

like what uncle said, gotta make daryl eat more fruits and veggie.

Cancer & Sagittarius Romantic Compatibility

2009-08-31T17:36:00.000+08:00

When Cancer and Sagittarius make a love match, they both need to be patient and give the relationship time to grow and mature. As it develops, each love partner will discover that they have much to offer one another. At first, it just seems like Sagittarius is the thrill seeker who enjoys the occasional adrenaline rush, and that Cancer derives much more satisfaction from emotional security. Early in the relationship, Cancer may want more of a commitment than Sagittarius is willing to give. But as time goes by, Sagittarius will learn to appreciate the strong emotional support that Cancer offers.

These two lovers, Cancer and Sagittarius, have different approaches to life; Cancer lives on emotion and tradition, and Sagittarius is the restless wanderer. Cancer's emotional tidal wave can be difficult and overwhelming for Sagittarius to accept. And Cancer might be resistant to accepting their Sagittarian mate's restlessness and craving for external activities. A Cancer partner can offer a Sagittarius a secure home base, a place where Sag can go to keep their dreams and ambitions in perspective. The Sagittarius free spirit can lend Cancer's daily life a little diversity and excitement.

The Moon (Emotion) rules Cancer, and Jupiter (Philosophy) rules Sagittarius. The Moon is about love, nurturing and the maternal instinct. Jupiter focuses on expansion, optimism, luck and travel. Together this is combination of growth and expansion and of masculine and feminine energy; the two can sustain each other. When working toward a common goal, these two can combine their energies to great effect.

Cancer is a Water Sign, and Sagittarius is a Fire Sign. Sagittarius desires freedom, while Cancer longs for emotional security and stability, and these basic needs color their approach to life, to projects and to relationships. One lover may not always get where the other lover is coming from, but when they put their complementary energies together, sparks can fly and dreams can come true. If they value their intimate connection and their friendship and respect one another's opinions, their conflicts can usually be resolved.

Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and Sagittarius is a Mutable Sign. Sagittarius moves from idea to idea and venture to venture as the feeling takes them, while Cancer is the instigator of new plans. A Cancer mate must give their Sagittarius lover the freedom to explore their own space and interests external to the relationship. Cancer can bring Sagittarius' great ideas to life, even if Sagittarius has lost interest and moved on. Sagittarius teaches Cancer the virtues of an open mind over constant and inflexible determination.

What's the best part of the Cancer-Sagittarius love match? The security they can give one another (once Cancer gives Sagittarius the freedom to offer that security freely). They make a compatible couple once they open themselves up to one another and accept as valid each other's differing life philosophies. If the lines of communication remain open and clear, and as long as these two take time to appreciate and celebrate their differences, theirs will be a stable and happy relationship.

violet to d': what's written here is very true. i suppose we do know what to do from now onwards. i need all the love from you, help me tide over periods when i'm emotionally unstable, similarly, i will learn to give you the emotional support you need. i need you to belong to me only. really. at this point of time, i can only believe that you are able to honour that promise.

the drama script

2009-08-28T20:44:00.001+08:00

not too sure how many have read my previous post.

there could have been a happy post before this. because everything was ok and good on wednesday.

i have the support from my family, godma, cousin. they are the reason i'm still being strong and able to type this so calmly now. If it had been last night. no one wanted to see the state i was in in the park last night. and eating alone in the park.

i have no idea what's happening exactly....

will things be the same again? if the way he sees of me has changed so much...

can't really express my thoughts properly now. i'm mentally tired these few days...walking to the bus stop with no expression... laughter in the class, smile from my face disappeared right after i step out of the classroom..students asking me when's my big day, teachers asking me how's my wedding prep,admin staff telling me my japan trip leave is approved. i'm being slapped hard in the face that all this is not a dream. everyone is constantly reminding me, i have just been hated by my fiance who wants to postpone the wedding.

people, do me a favour. do not ask me about it. i will break down.

i want him back. dearly.

drama

2009-08-25T19:18:00.000+08:00

is it true that cancerians are very emotional? i believe strongly in that. but it's not being emotional this time. it's factor-induced.

i have a blog. but it's not personal. i am feeling extremely low these few days. but the person i am closest to is not there by my side. i want to tell someone how i feel now but i can't find anyone.

i thought i was a lucky woman. true indeed. i was. past tense. why does it have to happen now? i feel it's unfair to me...yet i can't do anything. because the decision is now not up to me. it could have been much earlier. but definitely not now.

my mind is in a blank.......................

i only know when my tears flow on the bus, i feel the heart pain...

don't tell me the problem does not lie with me this time round.

i have no idea how can a person change his mind on such big issue within such a short time.

no confidence? how much confidence do u leave me with then?

excited!!

2009-08-06T00:51:00.008+08:00

i've once again abandoned my blog. I have err lost track of what has to be updated. so... i'm just going to type whatever comes to my mind.

racial harmony on 21st Jul was a fun event in school. i was selling curry puffs and yes, we cleared all 300 puffs and all the malay kuehs. POWER. and i love the punjabi costume i wore that day. Thanks to godma who lent it to me!

wedding photos are ready and all with me. i will say.... brilliantly taken. Thanks DAWN!!!! from thomson wedding design!! love those shots in traditional kua and the purple evening gown. and the outdoor shots!!

went out with mum and d' on saturday and we bought the teacup set and angbaos and stickers and angbao box! hahah... mama was really happy, cos we treated her to dimsum and then we shopped for all these stuff with her. she feels she's participating in our wedding prep. we had no time to do all these before that too... so right now, stuff for reception table all settled and self-decorated. YAY!! photos are all collected...wedding cakes and favours settled. JP found... so it's left with catering's details to be finalised...wedding invitation cards to be done (appt this sat at card blanche) honeymoon trip's tickets to be purchased and itinerary to be planned..

i met up with my ex-lady boss and co-worker from margarita's. we're all friends now. hahah...a very incredible feeling. we had tea at P.S cafe and we talked about going to U.S las vegas to visit melissa when she goes back. i did not think too much about it but when we were having dinner at margarita's (yes, we had food tasting. WHEE!!!) the 3 women talked about U.S branded goods selling at very affordable prices . well, mel said the most cos she lives there what. and carol said' oh, shut up". hahahahha..... so we got really excited talking about the trip and guess what. D' was just sitting in front of us sipping his margarita's and carol was teaching me how to use his 3 credit cards when i get there. HAHA. one for $8USD kinda shopping, one for $80 USD kinda shopping and one for $800USD kinda shopping. If my leave is approved, i'll be flying to japan for 2 weeks and then united states for 12 days. whee!! but poor darling. he will be going for honeymoon with his wife, then coming home alone but with wife's shopping luggages and then his wife go missing for the next 10 over days. hahaha...

vegas, san fran & LA, here i come!! (i wanna gooooooooo)

d' & i are having a bet. betting on him if he can refrain from down-ing gear when driving. yes, he's driving an auto car for goodness sake! so far so good... hahah. so he doesn't have to give me 50 bucks!!

long weekend for me!! friday early day off, sat sunday monday and tuesday!!! principal approved my leave on tues to settle my wedding prep stuff. yippie!!

ohohoh!! Mr Brain DVD is out!!! i only watched till episode 5 online... takuya kimura's latest drama..... still waiting for amk dvd outlet to call meeeeee.....

add-ons:

went to margarita's on the 18th July for joe and my birthday celebration..thank guys! hope the margarita's was good.

and some wedding photos are posted on Facebook already. :)

i'm officially 24...

2009-07-14T21:03:00.007+08:00

more birthday presents from my loved ones... and i really love the gifts. the watch from french connection (mum & sis), the cake and cards from my cute students and a nice pouch, and yes, i went to exchange my burberry bag to something i reallyyyyy like. =) and we topped up the amount. oops.

couldn't watch a movie last wednesday (yep, exact birthday) and so we went for karaoke!! (you can't say ktv as 'ktv' refers to those who ladies who offer you their companionship....and maybe something else la) wonderful session i would say. HEE.

i hardly have time now to mark students' work. i hardly have time now for family. i hardly have time now for leisure. i feel....suffocated.........what's exactly wrong with my time management???

OLD-er woman

2009-07-06T03:02:00.008+08:00

i wanted to post taiwan trips photos but it is kinda overwhelming to do that at 3am. so let's do my birthday post instead. haha already 2 celebrations.. another 2 to go? hahah..

first of all, there was a combined celebration for june and i last thurday with the girls. thank you for the singtel vouchers! haha 3 years since i bot my phone with vouchers given by you girls...time for another one. it was great catching up with you 3!

next was St. James on saturday night @ Movida/Boiler. bob and Yan yan bot me gift. they are d's colleagues. Lennart and juline as well.. they shouldn't have... i like their gifts a lot.. love the Precious moment ornament from bob and YY. and the pair of earrings from Jules and Lennart. and of course... the gift from darling :)

I actually cried at his house twice before we went out. i felt very guilty that i am such a horrible fiancee.

21st june was our 4th year anniversary and same as last yr, d' did not give me anything. which sent me feeling all sad and unimportant and stuff like that. his reason being not able to find time.. i do buy him gifts every year anniversary. i do not want anything.. actually i was just hoping for a card... and because of that, i ignored him the whole afternoon....he did not go for lunch but went to get me a card....apologising and all... (ahhh. tearing again) we were back to normal that evening..

then saturday when he passed me my present, i was really surprised. It was a burberry bag. upwrapped it, and found it wasn't really to my liking... and i said it tactfully to him. but dear said he thought it was the nicest and most suitable for me. we couldn't exchange as it is already more than 7 days. i didn't look too sad but dear went to the website immediately to look for other designs. i then showed him the kind i like. but already told him i'll keep the bag since it was given my him. can't rem exactly when but i was crying because i recalled how mean i was to him on our anniversary and he actually used his bonus to buy me a bag and then i reacted in such a horrible way. It wasn't rude or anything but it could have been v hurting to him. yet all this silly man did was to keep telling me we can go back and exchange. he really loves me. and that makes me feel so small....in this relationship. he forgives me more easily than i do to him.

then after telling him i'm sorry and of course crying like a booboo by then. i thought i would stop crying. but no....i went on to read his card. it wrote: Dearest wifey, though you're a year older, you look younger and prettier! so I got you a pretty gift. It may not be handmade but it is definitely pretty. Hope you will like it!

What he wrote really just SLAPPED me hard in the mind again. what the hell was i thinking....? I'm not trying to be mushy here but i'm writing this down to tell myself that i will be a fool if i were to cheat on this man or leave him in this lifetime....

thank you Daryl. for all that you've done for me all these years. many more happy years to come and we shall shop for the little "bucket seats" for the car in the near future :) love you. very much.

(my eyes will have powerful double eyelids tomorrow. either that or i'll look like a goldfish)

welcome july! my birthday month...

2009-07-01T20:12:00.002+08:00

did nothing during the last 2 weeks of holidays. and it's july already.

quite amazed that i actually did that. not a single compo marked. bad time management.

dear met with accident but both of us were not injured. but *dirty ghost* was. dear just got it back from the workshop today. too fast too careless. dirty ghost ended up spending 9 days in the *hospital*.

attended ah boon's wedding ROM at amara sanctuary on sunday. food was great. love the idae of wedding buffet more and more. yet my mind was just thinking about school reopening the next day and the mood wasn't too happy. haha... oh man. i'm now in the state thinking about too many things.... i need to find the passion back.... otherwise...i'll be miserable.

the passion. yes. i must have been to happy to see my students on Monday that i shouted too much to get their attention for our chat session. i was being my usual self, being a clown, making the students interested in the conversation. i then smell the blood in my throat. and the next morning i had a bad sore throat. doctor chok gave me 3 days MC straight and therefore i am only returning to school on friday. 1st wk of school : 2 days in school. my students must be so happy thinking they don't have to hand in the homework. and it's so cute when they keep asking you if there's any changes in the deployment like if they're gg to have a new teacher. i hope the worried look on their faces mean a good thing :)

i wore the N95 mask on monday, the waterproof coat and the gloves. because i'm one of the teachers in charge of looking after the unwell kids. i nearly suffocated in my very own carbon dioxide wearing the mask.....felt dizzy after 45 min, had to sit down. maybe i don't know the right way to breathe in the mask. when the operation stand down, we took off the coat and our arms were all wet..... perspiration. hmm. stepped into the staff room with the new centralised air-con system, we said to ourselves : i'm gonna fall sick just like this, it doesn't have to be H1N1 from the school kids"

haha. but i did not catch a flu. i just had a sore throat. hope my students miss me.

back from taipei/hualien

2009-06-16T16:17:00.002+08:00

hey people!! i'm backkkkk!!

yup back on saturday late night. the pilot decided to let us go for a 'spin' on the airplane. he was landing and then just when we thought we're back home, the plane took off again. due to some delayed flight on the land lar. phew, we're still alive.

i have loads of photos. well, can't be compared to my japan trip. so 8 days in taiwan (taipei/hualien) got me 600 photos. i spent about 500 bucks? total trip was roughly 1.3k. terrible mistake of not changing enough currency. i've learnt my lesson. from bangkok trip and this time round. so i'll make sure i have enough for my honeymoon in japan. hahahah...

i have no time to post the pics as yet.wanna get the photos from ps as well. it was funny that we met kenny and guys at shihlin night market! haha it's like we don't even meet in singapore...

i'm back to planning my wedding and stuff like that. have to pull myself back to school to do my work as well!!! arghh...

just helped my sis tidy her letters/cosmetics, i feel so useful today. ha! that's what sisters are for~~

i saw my wedding photos on sunday night. it was so tough!!! to select 60 pictures.... out of the 255 acceptable ones deemed by dawn our photographer. she already took out those that are not nice. (expression etc) the outdoor ones were fantastic. i'm not trying to boast about the photos. it's just that daryl & i really thought they were absolutely wonderful... the expressions at times, the angles... and the weather was simply amazing....! weet! waiting to see the layout in say 4 weeks' time? the album will be out only nearer to our wedding. actually i love one particular photo in kua. haha...

feel so loved when i come back home from overseas... especially from dear & mum. my dear is so cute. ha.. like a puppy... yearning for the owner to ba back. HAHAH..

people, u gotta watch MR BRAIN!!! takuya's latest drama...i bought magazines with kt on the cover and also kt photos...so much cheaper than SG. okay, i gotta watch mr brain~

good weather, happy couple

2009-06-04T09:28:00.003+08:00

hi everyone!! i'm not dead. haha. it wasn't tiring (well, the fatigue only set in at 10pm but we finished the shoot at 7 plus) taking the photos because we had fun and enjoyed ourselves very much. haha... our photographer was very good. and FARNi.

thank you Ms photopgrapher!! for bringing us to the beautiful spots in singapore..... i bet the photos will turn out nice... photo selection will be after i come back from taiwan.

we were busy doing hair, changing clothes until we didn't realise d' did not wear the white suit at all... bahhh. never mind. he shall wear it on actual day!

it's june!!

2009-06-02T22:02:00.005+08:00

it's mid year already. JUNE... is the period of GSS... the month in which i will be having my wedding photo shoot and it's tomorrow!!

daryl was sick since yesterday... but after me showing him lots of care and sponging his forehead and neck with all the ice cooling water, his fever has gone down. phew... and he's back to his usual self now. using the pc. arghhh. let's pray for good weather tomorrow!! :)

finally went to mustafa with dear on saturday. the place is so cool.... we bought like 6 ties?? hahah they look good and most importantly, they're cheap too! saturday was a busy day for us... tekka mall for balloons, mustafa for ties, marine parade for acupuncture session, grandma's for zhijian's 21st, and finally plaza sing for Terminator 4. hahahha... insane. btw, angie the choice's durain cake was absolutely yummy!!

before catching the show, we were in the archade and dear was trying to help me catch this cute mickey. haha i felt loved and yes, this is the way daryl and i get along with each other. we enjoy each other's company and we play as if we're still kids at times. the movie was quite nice. i thought i would just fall asleep but it managed to keep me awake. christian bale was definitely one of the factors... but the story was good too la. hah.

sunday began with breakfast with ps at heerens. then it was shopping with dear for his shirts. again, we bought 1 more tie and 3 shirts! told him not to feel :( that he has to spend money. because wedding is something that is once in a life time. after the shopping, i went ktv with jiehan, ruth and emily! finally we had our very first ktv session tog... after so long!love him when he wears a black shirt underneath a white jacket. he looks good in that. *beams*

glad that this silly of mine is feeling okay now. poor me.

oh, and just this week alone, i've spent 4 nights at his place. we've concluded --- it's the problem of getting used to it and not strictly do not allow. ha my mum is accepting this habit quite well. haha.. speaking of this, i really need to bring my specs over. i actually wore my contact lens for 3 days -.-||| and the facial masks i bought, i only used 3 so far!! urghh. because all those staying over was impromptu.

last night's dinner at swensen's with the SJAB alumni and teachers was enjoyable and fun. hahahahah kris and her 'i very tired', 'my stomach very pain', 'i want my ice cream', 'eh you all very naughty leh' etc. haha made us all flip. and almost died. in the pic: ms violet chew, mr kevin teo, ms dong zilei

random: i just had my first manicure and pedicure done today. woohoos. excited for tmr!! :) :)

the love songs

2009-05-18T00:19:00.002+08:00

i'm trying to compile the songs for the big day. Yes! excited i am!

:)love you hubhub!

jasper & tina's big day - 10 may 2009

2009-05-11T14:25:00.005+08:00

hectic and tiring day yesterday. especially so when i slept only 4 hours the night before. but anyway, looking at the happy couple, following them the whole night (i was the bridesmaid, one tenth of a hair stylist and makeup artist as well, because i had to ensure beauty of the bride, help her in the changing, change her hairstyle etc. ), witnessing the whole ceremony was a success, it was worth it :)

i only have some photos with me. i bet nita had good ones. the hilarious ones too! i wanna see the video of the guys being tortured by us!! can't wait. bikini, short skirts, long skirts, oranges, expresso with salt.

here goes!

楽しい !!!

2009-05-07T00:24:00.004+08:00

i am feeling wonderful now!!

i am experiencing the joy brought about by putting in effort for the month.. reap what you sow. my first little breakthrough. there's a will, there's a way.

my taiwan trip, it's fully paid for! haha all expenses. and i can do my hair for the wedding photoshoot. hooray!

looking forward to that slip of paper.. *beaming with joy*

来月、絶対頑張る！もっともっと頑張る！この感じは本当にすごい！

MIA-not

2009-05-01T08:50:00.005+08:00

happy labour's day!! it's a holiday for many... wee!!

daryl has left for his house to polish his car. so here i am blogging away since he woke me up with his 'i'm hungry' grumbling earlier in the morning.

had wanted to blog about this 2 weeks ago but keep forgetting. You know there was this week where both my naughty boys from different classes fell ill. they were so noisy usually that when they are sick and quiet, you heart totally goes all out to them larh! amos got well and immediately the next day become the noisy boy. the other boy jiajun got well and became irritating again. but then again. i had subdued him. hahahah. so it was ok. until that day he looked all glum because his gf of erm 1 mth broke up with him. tsk. i love my students more and more. well, some.

went to select dresses for tina's wedding day. i'm the bridesmaid. woohoO! first time. and the last. u can't be one after marriage right?? not sure.. anyway, here's the pic. pardon me for not wearing shoes. because they said i look like a runaway bride if i put on my converse sneakers.

took time off last saturday to enjoy myself. haha was supposed to do intensive marking! but i nua-ed the whole day. went for breakfast at chinatown market, slept the whole afternoon away before we met tina & jaz for dinner in the night. Italian restaurant recommended by the couple. not bad! but i was only allowed to eat the healthy salmon & spinach pastry by daryl. while he had a whole lamb shank! life's unfair... what to do?

haha anyway glad tina changed her dress to such a beautiful one!! i realise bride needs assurance. many many! i am definitely like that. bridal fitting again on 29th may. photoshoot on 3rd june. i want to shed more kilos! though i have already lost like 4.6 kilos in 2 months. press on!! *beams* i love the detox program!

this is for jeanie & june my buddies. these are my dresses selected! ps! you have helped in selected them for me. THANKs girl!! alteration still needed. haha.. stop staring at the 'bulging' tummy. it's the excess cloth.

went to meet up with my j-lang friends at sunset way. was at this restaurant called rocky's pizza. i tell you the pizza was HUGE. nothing like what i've ever seen before. haha let ruth show you how big it is. i'll wait for ruth to send the pics.. jiehan & i did that shocked expression as well..

wanted to sing ktv but it is fully booked at marina square!! hmm.. nevermind then. gonna watch x-men later with d'.

happy updates!

2009-04-21T00:03:00.002+08:00

happy 46th month anniversary dear!!

muahh.

okay. st john's first aid competition was held on saturday and my school did not do too well. but we will improve and clinch better awards next year!

dear came to pick me up and we left while students made those you know, howling sound. hahah..

and my darling baby drove me to this place, his surprise for me. haha i think it's for this month's anniversary. celebration in advance. Al Dente at esplanade mall... food's not bad. yeap, he let me eat. haha. sunday the 19th: we went to select our wedding gowns! ok me. i went to select my gowns. d' and ps were with me. judges & advisors they were. so i managed to get gowns. hahah..i love the gowns. the gowns selected were really out of my expectations and ideals. i totally get the u-must-try-it-before-u-know-if -it-suits meaning now. took photos but let's just make it secretive for the time being :)

and thank goodness i lost 4 kilos under the detox program. can't imagine if i did not go for it. i won't be able to squeeze into the gowns. sulk.

photo shoot to be on 3rd june before i fly to taiwan for a good 8 days with june and ps on the 6th!! YAY!! and i'm looking forward to japan in dec too! looking at the hp strap in d's car just made me wanna go back to the days we spent in japan. so carefree..and sweet. yes. we'll be going back. EUROPE, pls wait for me.

the whole weekend was gone before i knew it. because we spent the rest of sunday choosing my own wedding gift. yes. from my dearest godma. mum has already gotten me a very nice bangle last sat... thanks MAs!!

then we celebrated jasper's birthday at ryan's house and discussed about jaz & tina's big day's program. i'm the bridesman and the chief of the sister gang. hahahah... less than 3 weeks to go for them! they must be feeling so excited... and now, i'm looking forward to ours too...

love u darlie! or should i say dayrl goh? :P

batam pics, wedding updates

2009-04-05T21:20:00.005+08:00

alright! just take this time off to blog a little. Very simple. just pictures!

first of all, pictures from batam! in case u guys do not know, i went there with another teacher and 2 SJAB alumni members AND 44 students. worked hand in hand with Lions Singapore to help the less fortunate children and students in Batam check their eye sight and dispense spectacles to them. the last day was the happiest as we had our city day tour. hard work paid off! and yes, the room with the queen size bed and LCD tv is solely mine! haha..

bought polo ralph lauren. 3 shirts in all! 1 for dear and 2 for me.

went out with hubhub, kawan and melissa yesterday. i realized i kept looking at d'. haha. i thought to myself, he is really good-looking. when he spike his hair and wear contact lens larh. and yes, i'm gonna marry this man on october 10.......roughly have an idea of what gown i want. been cutting out magazine pages. gown choosing 2 weeks later. i'm excited!!! weeeee! after losing 4 kilos in one month, the one item on my wishlist has been achieved! but i shall see if i can lose more weight under this detox programme. strongly recommended my friends!!

okay byebye! stay tuned for more wedding updates! hahh

i'm back!!

2009-03-27T02:02:00.003+08:00

i'm sorry i did not blog for sooOoooo long. totally no time!

came back from batam trip with some polo ralph triumphs! haha. bought our first couple polo tee.

missed home badly... it was a wonderful experience though. it definitely wasn't easy bringing school kids out of country. a lot to handle. good thing i had kristina and 2 alumni members to help!!

i will blog the pictures soon...

still on my detox. lost 3 kilos in 2 weeks. went back for review. lost 2 cm all around. be it arms, thighs, waist, hips etc. woohoo!! i wanna be a beautiful bride.

latest updates:

went for lovely wedding workshop on 15th and we confirmed purple sage as our caterer.

wedding cake to be ordered once we get the appointment call from Pine garden.

trying on and selection of gown in April. and... shooting in june!! woots. before my taiwan trip!

ok i ought to be asleep long long time ago. think of the work... sigh. exam papers to be set!!

a little of everything recently

2009-03-08T22:24:00.003+08:00

三八妇女节快乐！！！

哈哈。。。我是个大三八。

大三八在这个三月份假期还是得带队到巴淡岛去。只能利用假期的周一和周二去筹办婚礼的大小事物。非常值得一提的是，我们两成功受邀参加purple sage 2009 workshop 了！是50对幸运情侣之一！woohoo!期待，非常期待下个星期日的到来！

okay for those who can't understand what i wrote before this. I just mentioned that i still have to go to batam during the holidays. hope it will be a pleasant trip with the students. the naughty chairman is going, but i think i managed to win his trust a little that day. i really helped him a great deal with his long overdue composition. and he promised to be good. let's see how la eh.

and so, i'm only left with the holiday's monday and tuesday to settle some wedding details, hopefully. and the most exciting thing is....me and dear got invited to purple sage wedding workshop 2009! gotta try the food and see the cards by card blanc. kinda like the designs. this event is solely by invitation. meaning we're so lucky! ha. maybe we have a rather high budget. looking forward to next sunday!!

i'v completed all my marking. gonna key the results into SC soon. and while i'm so busy, i actually agreed to help out at the career fair at suntec this afternoon. was complaining initially because we have to know the different courses and entry criteria for them. that's a lot to remember. I only started looking at the "secret manual" last night and this morning. couldn't answer some questions. really stumped me. but there are also people who asked "is it like a 9 to 5 job?" erm. of course not. 5am to 9pm maybe. haha. really an eye-opener. and also allowed me to know more about the ministry. i think times are bad and everybody start to think of education as a career. i mean the passion should be there. If you're thinking of it just because you can't find a job elsewhere, you will find yourself looking for another job very soon again.

but of course, it's tiring and sometimes we do wonder if we have chosen the right path. i'm only 2 months into the career. i hope this is just a matter of adapting to the workload and responsibilities. hopefully few more months later, i will feel very comfortable with the workload and handle everything with ease :) and then i will be a happy teacher, not just a busy teacher!

hah. i heard this from a colleague that day after she saw how a student talked to me. "eric looked up to you as if he idiolises you..." hahah. that's a very cute and good student. my AV rep.

i do have cute students. and for them, i will persevere!

oh and as for my detox program, i can only say it's powerful. results shown after just one week. hoho! one more intensive week to go. i can do it. heh. although i munch a bit.

oh hey! I'm alive!

2009-03-02T20:17:00.002+08:00

been really busy... no time for lunch in schools. best, now don't even have to take solid food meals. ha! undergoing a detox program. 2 weeks. violet, u can do it man. zettai yareru!

it's the month of march already... tentative plans are as such:

1) gonna go to the bridal shop during the holidays and choose a design...hopefully can find a beautiful one.

2) go and select a wedding cake design and even a invitation card design on those 2 days dear specially took leave :)

we wanna get as much preparations done as possible. it's good to settle the selection fast. I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO TIME when it's school term :(

so is dear. after he has been given more tasks and responsibilities at work. hee. but that sounds good for the future!

okay, as for now... it's just mark mark mark and more marking... and lesson planning.. was informed i don't have to go for batam trip with students. quite glad! i can finally have a good break. :)

happy Valentine's 2009!

2009-02-18T23:52:00.007+08:00

i had a good time (except for that horrible gastric pain right after dinner). HEE. guess overdid the food order again. love that chain and pendent. love the dinner at JERRY'S. met up with friends for clubbing and realised i love bacardi 151 shot.

just scroll down :)

have not disappeared

2009-02-14T02:21:00.010+08:00

it's weekend again! wooHoOs!

actually i kinda like going to school already. colleagues are terrific and students are cute! why not? the job satisfaction is there. =)

and the increment of course. so! i'm feeling comfortable all psychologically, physically and financially!

i play badminton once a week in school with students and colleagues. awesome. the feeling of sweating out.

many events happened. and i have not been updating. tsk. let's see. we have mervyl's 26th birthday last saturday. at his grandaunt house. HUGE house i tell u. 1 teacher and 1 principal live in that house. i want that jacuzzi, dear!! hahah...that sat afternoon i went to take photos in my NIE graduation gown for remembrance sake. looked tired on the actual day. so retook. we went to tekka mall to buy decorations for cousin wendy's 21st birthday before returning the gown. busy busy day!Sunday was wendy's birthday so we helped her decorate. haha. complimented for our efforts and creation. thank u thank u! the 100 sparklers were used up too fast! the school weeks pass very fast nowadays. guess i'm used to the teaching life already! but the weekends pass even faster. boo =(

today, friday, the staff had an outing to marina barrage, our latest reservoir. very ncie place. but the weather was shit. but the exhibition hall was great. concussed after i got home... so dead beat. and d' went drinking with his colleagues without bringing me along... haha.. i just picked him up at 1.55am... it's 2.40am now. (gotta go to school at 8.30am tmr. im so dead) my lovely baby gave me my gift at the carpark... lovely chain and pendent. thanks baby!! muahhh!!i hope my gift made u happy too! baby smellin' good.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to my all friends out there!! :)

happy chinese new year! mOooOo.

2009-02-01T18:01:00.006+08:00

Alright! so how was new year for everyone?

seriously my last year to collect angbao if nothing goes wrong. haha.. postpone again and again. ha!

hope everyone's pocket is fill with fat angbaos anyway!

CNY day 1:

went to d's ah ma's house in the afternoon, then his great aunt's house to meet his extended family, then back to my ah ma's house with him. 1st year having such arrangement.. everything was great except when d' got called back to work. %$^#!! i permed my own hair that day. ha spent me quite a long time doing it.
CNY day 2:

went out with d' to his friend's chalet. eat eat eat and eat again. =(

CNY day 6:

our annual dinner at 2nd auntie's house! went there late and everything started late this year. i went to visit d's popo and before that was new year visiting at joe's house. brought my cam out but batt died. boo. shall wait for the photos from charlotte and wendy!

update!

2009-01-25T16:26:00.006+08:00

happy chinese new year to everyone! may your reunion dinner be yummylicious and fantastic!

i've been working too hard in school and thus need the weekend to let my hair down totally.. dbl O again last night. survived the lethal barcadi 151 shot.

sequence for the night: jugs of lychee martini + bourbon coke, B52, samoka, barcadi 151, tequila shot. woots! that did the trick. ultimate joy. all thanks to doctor B!!

i have yet to post my grad photos!! my clubbing photos!! and jasper's wedding photos!! x'mas eve!! and new year's eve!! how about just a few now? haha. dedicated posts to come soon. if i have the time :P

taken during jasper and tina's ROM on 21st dec 2008.

taken during NIE graduation on 21st Jan 2009.

taken during last night's fun craze! all photos taken last night are up on FB.

YAY

2009-01-11T22:58:00.002+08:00

woah. didn't realise i've desserted my blog for 2 weeks.

so yeap, clubbing constipation no more! last night was fun. fun as in dizzy fun. was giddy for 2 whole hours! just 4 shots! don't ask me how i coped with that. things were all well except for that uncalled for incident right at the end. stupid drunkard in red jacket. poor yasser.

school's quite alright. it kinda drains away all my energy everyday. probably still not used to the teaching life and my biological clock has yet to adapt well. especially when you have (wild) weekends like that.

school ends officially at 1.30pm everyday but the work is never-ending. my desk is already half-occupied! by books and files just after one week. woot.

x'mas fun

2008-12-29T21:55:00.014+08:00

merry christmas everybody!! 12 days of christmas isn't it? hahah.

hope everyone enjoyed the christmas season. i have loads of photos from the 3 gatherings i went to. let's see, 1st will be the family dinner at godma's on the eve! then d' sped to his auntie's house for the 2nd party that night. gosh, we were superrr late. haha but not the latest! ended up drinking as usual. like what kawan said, merv's safety mechanism came on. i got slightly dizzy but that fella managed to be sober and drive home in the end. ha! the hats i bought created the fun atmosphere... cool hats eh? better than daiso's. then on christmas day, i went to collect a big box of SMAP vcds from huihui! haha i lent her the latest concert...then the usual group celebrated J.R's birthday at ps' house. haha... 真不愧是夫妻! we had delicious food lor. i will start drooling just by thinking of that thai salad. hahah... school's reopening on friday. a little nervous. i may meet 1 or 2 classes. but will definitely meet my form class. and godma is really giving me all her support. she has already bought me a 'nohohon zoku' minne mouse! (the head-swaying toy) to help me destress and cool down if i ever wanna blow my top. thanks godma!

tmr is mavis' wedding! may it be a romantic wedding and all go well! :)

and happy birthday chris!

in my hands!!

2008-12-23T14:01:00.002+08:00

my santa was here yesterday!! hahah mabbe i should say i am santa claus for myself.

my 3 SMAP concerts arrived at 9am yesterday! was sleeping then. haha mr. fedex santa claus asked me for my name for re-confirmation and i was trying to recall my own name. blur. and definitely not fully awake.

2008 Super Modern Artistic Performance is superrrrrrrb! i love kimutaku with that shorter but styled curled hair! His solo "STYLE" is the best! prefer him singing faster dance songs than slow ballads. can see him dance. "Born performer" is all i can say about him.

lets view this youtube video i uploaded! time to thank the smap clip youtube providers! by loading the concert clips up. because only photos montage are uploaded up till now.. the concert dvds were just released on 17th dec and i got it on 22dec. VERY FAST AND EFFICIENT, AMAZON JAPAN!! was glad i cancelled the orders from Yesasia! dear helped me with those cancelling and all.

bought URA smap 2001 as well as BIRDMAN 1999.

i will dedicate one post to jasper & tina's ROM another day. it was a success on sunday! congrats Mr & Mrs Hoe!!

:)

SMAP concerts / form teacher

2008-12-16T11:23:00.000+08:00

i just shopped online again.... for SMAP concerts. 3 at one go. haha there goes my few hundred bucks. and there i was on sunday, vexing over whether or not to buy that nice winter coat from Esprit that cost much less than these concert DVDs. *pray hard* i hope to get discount for that esprit coat. love it!

Henderson called to inform i will be the form teacher of 1N1. I've never come into contact with normal tech class before. yup good life all the way until the real permanent teaching experience. stay positive, Violet. You need to.

I've heard horrifying tales. But still, treat them like they're nice children... it's the first time u're teaching and getting to know them. No judgement passed. U can't pass judgement now.

may the Sec 1 registration this friday flow smoothly. I will see my 'kids' this friday.

V mystery solved..kimutaku!

2008-12-11T09:40:00.000+08:00

i am wrong this time. i am neither "V"s. which is a good thing. that means things are still good.

thanks to dear who called cj up to check. so V is for cigarettes and V is also for muscular man whose body shape looks like a V. but not for violet.

even cj got confused. hahah. yah man, trust u girls to be able to think of that.

i thought to myself. why the sensitive feelings all the time? is it because cancerians are born like that?? it's going to torture me quite a bit in life. can i be less cancerian?? i wanna be like d'. totally insensitive, and also not hurt by words at all. okay, just the "not hurt by words at all" will do. i still wanna be tactful, which i am.

told d' to be always on standby to help me interpret questions. So i won't think too much into it and would be able to answer people's questions without feeling hurt. but sometimes he's shocked when those questions are thrown out too.

anyway! i spent yesterday watching SAMPLE Bang! concert which i bot together with another concert this september....and i was in love with my lover no. 1 when real lover was in army camp. and guess what? they held a concert this year and the concert DVD is going to be released in 6 days' time!! guess what i'm going to do....?

tada! Takuya and Beyonce as seen in the advertisement for luxury handbag brand Samantha Thavasa in October 2008...

happy birthday ps!!

2008-12-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

happy sweet 23rd PS!! hope u had fun yesterday! i'm not referring to that sms!! hahah...
glad you love those hello kitty presents. hahah.. effort put in was worth it. please use the box k! and bring the mouse to work. :)

west coast plaza can be our favourite get together place from now on! let's just see the pictures!

wpw/ drug addict/ V

2008-12-10T20:32:00.004+08:00

the wound (few punctures closely together form holes in my upper thigh) has more or less recovered.. just gotta stay at home, grounded, to prove that i am a god kid. then i can run around shopping malls from friday onwards!

last thursday was a torture. they strapped me up on that surgical bed. gave me medicine which instantaneously make u sleepy. and they zapped the accessory pathway in my heart by passing heat thru that wire they had inserted through my thighs. was on local anaesthesia.

felt the uncomfortable feeling/compression in my heart when the heat was passed. and they zapped it 2 times. i let out a groan.

after that was a 24hr lying-there-can't-move-much torture. girls, DON'T EVER AGREE TO DO ANY SURGICAL PROCEDURE OR OPERATION WHEN YOU ARE HAVING YOUR PERIOD. i can tell you u will feel very embarrassed in whatever u do and whatever they do. and damn it, i had to be operated at the groin area.

but good thing it was a success. palpitation shouldn't haunt me anymore. well, except that my heart still beats super fast when i am frightened. like last night, by that drug addict/glue-sniffing guy staying one floor below my flat. (he keeps asking people for money and he's just what. 30 years old?) he followed me to take another lift when the one we were waiting for somehow didn't come up again. really hoped he won't follow me and just stayed with the uncle who gave him some money. but he did. freaked me out totally. i really had the urge to call police to put him in jail again. he was in jail but after being released few months back, he had made the residents afraid of him. lying on the staircase but with eye wide open, looking up to you blankly while squatting in the lift enjoying his drug, following you asking u for money, fidgeting about in the lift. i swear he really frightens me...

oh i went to stay over at godma's place for recuperation. haha. mummy and dear accompanied me. we watched SAW 1 to 4 there. we watched 'mummy 3' and 'hancock' there as well. stayed for 3 nights. only left on monday night. because my dear bf has to report for his reservist early next morning.. we ate so much at godma's house because their maid Daisy can cook soooOOoooO well.. and now he will lose all the weight he has gained those few days in camp. i can tell he really misses me from his smses.. i miss him too..

something which i read just now upset me a little. is she glad that it's another v or is she glad that it's me? exactly which "V" am i??

well, if i really am the unwelcome 'V' ("OTHER V", quoting her ), then this new family that i am about to enter is going to remain new forever. because i won't bother to care for them like a real family member.

the question still remains. which "V" am i?

byebye wolff parkinson white syndrome!

2008-12-04T00:02:00.000+08:00

okokok. i should be fast asleep long ago. mum's nagging.

tomorrow will be the first time i get hospitalised in my life.

still not scared. I hope it remains this way till i go into the ops room! it's a small day-surgery. so don't worry about me! will be discharged on friday!

mama and godma will be accompanying me...

i hope my appetite will be affected. ha! then i can stop being a pig.

birthdays, sweet celebrations.

2008-11-30T23:45:00.002+08:00

how's everyone? holidays isn't exactly a good thing. especially for girls. what do u do when everywhere has the big word "SALE" on their nice glass doors?

i obviously hadn't been behaving myself. sneakers not too long ago, 2 clutches just one week ago, and i bot a new esprit top and Aldo heels today.... i asked d' if i don't have the right concept about money. but he said i do. because i save. just that i spend a lot as well. hahah.. true. girls just can't get enough of shoes and clothes and bags. and accessories! :)

enough about me, althou this is my blog. my dear friends, please please update your blogs. they are turning mouldy!

here are the pictures from 2 saturdays ago. we had a birthday celebration for 4 november babies on 22nd nov! i ordered the cake and took photos of these 4 happy people. never mind the piles and piles of bowls and plates i had to wash. they looked really happy in the photos. that's how birthdays are suppose to be. task for bdae peep: BE HAPPY, task for non-bdae peeps: MAKE THE BDAE PEEPs HAPPY.

happy birthday DR. BA (daryl, ryan, bryan, ann) !!

d' had many celebrations this year. first, we had this gathering, then my family had dinner with him (sadly to say, i had to foot the bill), then i had dinner with him one day before his actual birthday (my treat again) and finally dinner with his dad and ahma.

i think he had fun but i made him fall sick. he's sick now. yup one day after his special day. i promise not to turn on the air-con after the timer is off. i promise to be good.

we went for family dinner on wednesday night. to this hk cafe in sunset way. food was superb and it wasn't expensive at all. very reasonable prices. haha... worth a try. we overdid the food order though...love the cream fish, the herbal prawn soup, the baked rice in coconut, heart the dessert!! pomelo mango sago, mango pudding and seasame peanut dessert. it was a celebration for d' but sis and i ended up having more fun than anyone else. ha!

then d' was on a job assignment on saturday. should have been able to make it in time for our dinner reservation. yup there was a huge BUT. equipment couldn't boot up. i went into Black Angus (orchard parade hotel) on time. dinner reservation at 7.30pm. and i waited and waited.... till 8.20pm before he appeared and kissed me on the cheeks. i had downed 2 glasses of coke by then. good thing i had lumix with me... was able to pass time slightly faster. his gifts from me! homemade cupcakes with chocolate oozing out from inside. handmade card and a steak dinner treat. hahah.. i threatened to kill him if he ever makes me wait 45 minutes in a restaurant again...and he promised not to do that ever again... took a stroll with dear along orchard. for....better digestion. hahah...both of us had rib-eye steak and it was great :) the christmas decorations are up. so drop by town and try to spot these if you're too free! we didn't take any photos with them.... but i want to... so we're thinking of a double date with ann and bryan. hah.happy birthday hubhub!! anyway guys, i'll be away for my minor op this thursday. byebye WPW!! you've been sending my heart into little speed races far too often. 心像小鹿乱撞！！it's time you leave me k?

dvds and more!

2008-11-22T13:06:00.000+08:00

people tend to be influenced by their other halves. i don't really like going to the theatre to watch movies. but that doesn't mean i don't enjoy watching films. it's d' who enjoy watching movies, be it in the theatre or watching dvd. so we're mostly cooped up in the cosy home watching dvds nowadays. it just struck me last week that we are not going out to the malls for aimless shopping trips anymore ever since we have the car. we used to take bus and mrt down to marina and town area. happy times. ha! mabbe we wanna save parking cost? so every saturday and sunday, we're at his house. most prob watching dvds.

not complaining. nope. i'm not. hahaha..

oh! i used last week to complete the 'moonlight resonance'. super duper nice. strongly recommended!! :)

i believe 2008 is the year we've watched the most number of films in cinemas. sex & the city, indiana jones, iron man, bat man, bangkok dangerous, get smart, 007 solace of quantum, wanted. mabbe i've missed out some others. and as if it's not enough, we can't forget d's a dvd shopaholic. haha.. so we watch his dvd collection. completed matrix and some others.

and last week being a total holiday week for me to be bumming around doing nothing. we rented dvds. here they are! well, i watched them alone. he has a few on his own.

what happens in vegas was okay. just stupidly funny sometimes... 3.5/5
failure to launch was unexpectedly nice. haha good show...4.5/5
the da vinci code. finally watched it. probably give it just a 4/5
27 dresses was good.. i wanted to slap that freakin' sis. romance. and i'm a sucker for romance. just realised it. ha. 4/5
okok here comes the best! the devil wears prada. i finally managed to rent it!! always out. the movie was awesome. 5/5! okay i'm gonna watch these 2 too. enchanted first! :)

outings and gatherings

2008-11-18T22:11:00.000+08:00

was out with hong lin last wednesday. went to chinatown. realised there are just some buildings or streets that are really beautiful yet we singaporeans don't appreciate. had a spicy fish pot with hl for lunch. my first time eating 水煮鱼, this szechuan dish. haha thanks girl!

i give up wearing heels. gives me nasty blisters each time i try wearing. so that gave me a reason to buy my converse sneakers in vivo city. heh. the x'mas tree this year is prettier. thanks to the rain i got that wonderful reflection picture. see how d' belt my baby up at the back seat. hahah. took photos with classmates last thursday. classmates for a year. hope we will work with nice people..! then i rushed to meet hy,tk & glen. glad to have this bunch of friends. contract teaching friends. we really glue tog. =) oh and that day was 13th nov and it was takuya's 36th birthday!! :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY kimutaku!

saturday was kawan's birthday and he bought us dinner! japanese fine dining at chiharu (6th avenue) then followed by daily's scoop waffle ice cream! we're gonna celebrate the birthday of 4 november babies this saturday night!!
good. let me have some fun. i need it.

disgusted

2008-11-18T21:47:00.000+08:00

why do i have to be fooled by schools/teachers/principals every year end? last yr by mrs A. ang. this year by the authority of practicum school.

i'm disgusted by the way how authority with low EQ reacts to such a small issue. yea, call the headquarters and say i'm not needed when all duties and form class have been decided. you call this not needed? how about saying that's an excuse to remove a staff whom u deem 'lazy/irresponsible' due to your horrible way of informing changes thru email? i even apologised (i don't know what i was thinking) i never thought this would be the outcome. tell me that's not the reason why u called to say you prefer experienced teachers one wk after posting was out, after duties are arranged.

but i'm glad you did that. I will not survive working with you and the people in there..

headquarters is shocked that u asked me for meetings and then asked me to be re-transferred.

*applause for u*

blessing in disguise perhaps.

what a dark world. the world of education.

invisible pressure

2008-11-10T16:07:00.000+08:00

still down with the cold... and i have passed the virus to d' and mum. oops...

i went to recce with d' last tuesday for our wedding venue and catering stuff... he specially took a day off to get these things done. thank u baby!

first we went to purple sage (a caterer that caught my notice in 2006) and we got the menu and stuff. got some important questions answered.. the lady told us the tentage is going to cost 5 to 6k.. my eyes nearly popped out. so she suggested a few places.. hort park was one of them.

we then drove to fort canning. OUT is the word. hahah.. humid, hot, mosquitoes, stairs, endless stairs and walking. so we ended up playing while checking out the place. (we also realised solemnizing at ROM is definitely not what we want)

the raffles house is not suitable. small and you have to walk a long way and climb stairs just to get there. not advisable for those who are inviting the folks.. but the flag staff lawn makes the place kinda nice.then we went off to HORT PARK (oppo former sajc). i can tell you d' and i fell in love with the place. the rental is much more reasonable than ACM ( i still like the place) and we can have a garden solemnisation just the way we wanted! no fear of perspiring like mad because it will be air-conditioned. we just want something different from the usual banquet.... we can do banquet... but if we're not going to feel happy, then what's the whole point.....

we felt so happy after the girl has reserved the venue for us... the whole venue issue had been a big headache.but after yesterday, i have even bigger headaches. you hear about the concerns the folks may have... not banquet, dun like. not served, dun like. after eating, they will leave. they don't like western food....it really irks me.... well, i really dun mind if people start leaving after eating. i don't want them to stay just because of the food either. that's why people stay till 11pm for wedding banquets. they don't even listen to what the guests or couple are speaking into the mic. i've seen that myself. and just how many bowls of shark's fin soup or abalone do you wanna eat during weddings? not enough??

i was really tempted to spend the money on honeymoon and don't hold any reception after last night... but i want our friends to share the joy, relatives too!

i really don't want things to be carried out just to make the folks happy........ no reception or dinner, complain. venue not accessible, complain. not sit-down served dinner, complain. i go honeymoon and that's the end i tell u! no one's going to be invited. %$@@$!!!@@## what's wrong with having a light-hearted and less formal event??

*still grumbling*

anyway... *deep breath* i had steamboat with my dearies on saturday night at bugis. it was really fun... with jr imitating NOOSE barbarella. hahah.. the dessert at MOF before d' and i went to catch quantum of solace. not bad... i prefer this to casino royale. more action, more story hidden..
then yesterday (sunday) was a day at club chinois. the original venue in mind...(went for it since we paid for it) tried the dishes and pine garden cakes. hahah we were both totally in love with its chocolate cake....got some tips from the session too.

we have worked hard to put things together and make it a wonderful wedding experience for both us and you (friends and relatives)... we aim to make it a memorable one... so give us the chance to do so.

mavis, i understand how u feel man...

5.17AM

2008-11-04T05:17:00.000+08:00

gosh. it's 5.17am... why am i still up.

because i had been doing work non-stop since 8plus. finally managed to rush out the files for my group project. I dislike using the forum but i actually used it so many times to inform them of the uploads just now. felt guilty for not participating actively but same reasons as HL.

i hope they won't find many faults with my files.. i already cracked my stupid brains. till it's almost cracking now at 5 in the morning. I'll deal with the editing tomorrow evening...!

because i will be out with d' to go to our wedding dinner caterer and get more details!! yes, with my nose like a running tap. BAD FLU.

i think i posted smth like asking close friends to keep 20 june and 12 dec next yr free.... make those days available. because a garden party is unlikely to be held in dec.... yes, i'm bringing it forward. hopefully things can be carried out smoothly...

*stuff tissue into nostrils and goes to bed*

long weekend!

2008-10-27T18:54:00.001+08:00

i guess everyone's enjoying the long weekend. i did.

saturday was the long-waited ktv session with kawan, merv, tina, joe, nita & dear. jasper couldn't join all of us. he's the one who used to bug me about not organizing another ktv session.. then he couldn't make it.

it was really fun... haha.. then we had a good takeaway dinner from amk ave 10's s11. chicken wings, oyster omelette, satay, ngor hiang.... super filling! night ended when d', kawan & merv were done drinking at d's dining table...

okie gotta get the CD full of groups pics done for the guys.

wanted to go to purple sage(wedding services provider) with d' yesterday but they are only open on weekdays.. gonna go and get some things confirmed and settled soon... real soon.

oh but the macs breakfast with ps, june & dear was really good. had a good chat. but my girls are not willing to perform for me at the wedding party. ha! boo...

went to suntec with dear since we couldn't go to purple sage. wanted to shop but i was tired and also not very interested in shopping around in singapore already. prices are too highhhhh. and i am supposedly not in need of new clothes anymore. haa. had a delicious chocolate banana crepe and then we confirmed we would watch 'the coffin' that day. and then guess what? we left suntec to go amk hub to watch the movie. hahah we're idiots. i feel la. oh the show was not too bad. frightened me quite a few times.. my heart's not that strong.. and ya.. that operation in december is kinda freaking me out.

watched *bedazzled* dvd with d' in the night. both were so tired (slept at 4am on sunday morning and then woke up at 9am) so we dozed off for few hours. and then we actually continued watching the show at 2am. sleeping hours totally screwed up! pimples are having the chance to attack me again...

it is very rare that i am spending a public holiday at home without d'. i just don't wanna see someone... yep. just yet. so i finally watched *p.s i love you* today. (we rented 3 dvds last night!)
read the book halfway... so i roughly knew the story. but still, it didn't fail to send me tearing non-stop. and laughing at some instances. very wonderful show.... it's all gerry's thoughtfulness that makes me feel very sad.

i had a bad dream just this morning before i watched the show. hugged d' so tight when he came into the room. would never want him to leave before me. what a bad dream... that's why i always say he's a good driver but that doesn't mean accidents won't happen. there are still bastards on the roads... just like the one in the dream. then i watched the show. all the more i understand i won't be able to live if he leaves before me. i'll die. die missing him. die crying out for him.

and so, he promised me this afternoon in a sms "i'll leave after you k. :)"

love you!

i'm a blessed lady!

2008-10-22T17:48:00.000+08:00

let's talk about october 21st...

it's my sister's birthday. but that's not the point. haha... i find this date just special.. i have been spending my october 21st(s) with daryl these few years... it was tony roma's in both 2006 & 2007. we went to jack's place instead for a change yesterday. nice steak! :)

i just felt so loved last night... because i wanted to spend this day with him so much and it was as though he could read my mind (i was looking at florist websites the day before and it occurred to me d' seldom give me flowers. haha), he came to pick me up and there was this lovely bouquet on the car seat. yay! that was a lovely surprise. so romantic. so unlike him. hahah... thanks dear!

hong lin helped us take a photo. it's cute. machiam wedding photo shoot. hah.and i took many many with d'. hee... fully utilised my new cam... i love hubhub! that's him reading my card.. and i had a fun time with hong lin at coffee bean holland v prior to meeting d'. ha. took many stupid pics. lessons will all be over by 7 november... and i will be very free. probably no sch for the entire of next week as well... must cherish this kind of relaxed life before it will never appear from next year onwards! :)

yixian's bdae

2008-10-18T14:28:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling much better. got into a depression state few days back. but things will be awkward now.

girls meet up on thursday was fantastic. cheered me up! NYDC @ holland v... celebrated yixian's birthday. we were super loud in the restaurant from 7.30-10.30pm. hahah...

pictures!

hurtful

2008-10-14T11:19:00.000+08:00

how would you feel if your future father-in-law (i guess more or less confirmed) ask you this?

"how does it feel like to be poor?"

awesome.

unbelievable.

stunned.

I was quite taken aback by the question and i really thought hard. But i couldn't answer it. So i said smth like i don't feel very poor. and no, that was an unsatisfactory answer. He wanted smth like how i feel when i see other kids having smth that i want yet i can't.

seriously, i don't have that jealousy.... i am not into games... and i wasn't that unhappy as a child. mummy provided all i needed at that time. brghhh. so i managed to change the topic a little shortly. but i gave a rather true statement. "i feel that knowing to be contented is more important. I can have fewer things but feel contented and happy while daryl can have many games and things but if he is not contented, i am(was) a happier person than he is(was)"

wasn't feeling too bad at that point of time. just simply stunned. but i felt kinda upset and angry last night. because that wasn't the first time already.

why that line? after he comes back from his ciggie time. it didn't sound nice at all. be considerate to the ones you're posing the question to. brainless.

why that line? daryl offered an answer. "maybe he's just trying to strike a conversation?"

then this is my answer, "he needs to learn how to strike a proper one."

i don't know his motive for asking that. is it simply because he has never been poor his entire life that he genuinely needs someone to give him his answer (and it happens to be me because i am the only poor person he has met) OR he wanna test my level of tolerance.

i seriously don't feel happy with all these funny questions popping up as and when he likes.

"when you were young, you seldom get to go out and eat good food right?"

for goodness sake, my mum cooks well so why do i have to go out and spend money on 'good' food??

and i have to smile and reply to all these insensitive and brainless questions? BULLSHIT.

call me a sensitive idiot. but don't let me hear such a question ever again. i am going to keep mum and let you know these are the kinda questions which are not suitable to be used to strike a conversation.

how about i ask you "how does it feel like to have your wife passed away before you?"

but no, i won't ask that. because i am not like you!

super random

2008-10-11T14:46:00.000+08:00

okay, first post in october.

have you guys tried buffet @ vienna? i did on last friday. with nie friends. I can only say i prefer carousel. =) but vienna has black pepper crabs and carousel does not. the place looked really grand with the kinda furniture and lights they used. but the food variety is not there... they use cakes from the various cake shops like bengawan solo and breadtalk! poof.

met up with d' who was on mc that day for a good meal at waraku japanese. the ramen was GOOD! in a very very huge bowl. i thought the one we saw in Japan was already huge. for ramen, we will recommend waraku & ajisen :) the silly thing about us now is that we seem to treat friday like some road-trip-getaway-day. we went to my hse at clementi and then d' decided to go changi airport and show me the new terminal 3. haha so off we went! SIA stewardess.... we saw like 9? only 2 pretty ones. some are... short and bahh. don't ask me about the standard man. we have absolutely no idea. i got a scare in the toilet when i saw a big red mouth and blue eyeshadow. honestly. cos i turned and saw her. she looked like a ghost. sorry larh, but no one wears that kinda heavy makeup mah. no offence. but after seeing more stewardesses (correct?), i realise she was one of the pretty ones!

Mr bean's soya bean milk ice cream is a nono... ha! outta point.

okay another one but i have to say AMK central's kfc is horrible! we had to queue 50 mins to get our food. when there was only 5 ppl in front of us. best. why we wait you may ask? we were mad.

sunday was a jogging day with dear and we tidied his wardrobe closet after that. he cleared a big space for me! :) hee. have already moved part of my clothes collection over. this online shopping thing has got me totally excited. i don't buy clothes in sg anymore! no urge when i see those insane price tags. online shopping is the way to go now!

i went for a hair-cut yesterday and i say i love it. :) the best long hair style michelle has given me. i thought i looked like a japanese obasan when i first left the salon (hair dryer-blown) in the past, i always get this very layered hair cut whick makes me feel like i look like a stingray and then i will ask her to snip the back for me (ends up with short hair). so this time round, she did a very good job. my hair was like a mop before the cut. long and thick.

decided to give SKII a miss. friend recommends but friendS give another opinion. i bought the 02 skin treatment instead. and let's hope that 200 bucks vita C works! please... if not i have to go for facial treatment.... which is ex... and i'm no taitai! but lucky girl i was, i bought the stuff cheap. the treatment set was about half the original price and i got this incredible eye shadow palette. TEACH ME HOW TO USE! 98 colors! cost 100 over bucks... i can only see less than 10 shades which i use.... looks like water colors from our kiddo times. hahah!

F1 pics are with me. but just cars, and michelle yeoh's back. hahah. so i guess you guys won't be interested...

can i just say the entry is super random?! haha i wanna complain about these two girls i met in NIE on thursday. one was VERY short, the other was okay so she helped her friend take a plate and the two of them started to choose the fruits they want. come on la, you guys were queueing up just now and you didn't think of what you want at all? go up to the fridge (2 person block entire fridge) and ask each other 'do you want this?' 'err okay lor' 'how about this one?'

tmd. just take your freaking fruits and move! near to 2 minutes of your 'fruit-selecting show'....open this side of the sliding door and then the other then this one again then the other. make up your bloody mind! is it that difficult to make a choice of what FRUIT to eat? then have them cut, yes, stand and block the whole fridge and wait. and you heard one big 'EXCUSE ME' from me and then looked at me as if i was a total bitch who was being rude to you. marvellous people. you didn't even have your money ready to pay!! that was why stall owner took my payment first... geddit?!

*chills*

dizzy spells, mummy's birthday!

2008-09-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

I always fall ill on very important occasions or events. and i hate myself to the max for that.

it was the finale for GESL at NIE on monday. I was busy preparing the CD for submission and taking out the attire for the next day on sunday late night. This GESL thing has brought me closer to many people in the group. we had lots of fun during the camp in June. I was the communication rep and also in the programme committee. Monday was GESL day, a day for the different groups to display their hard work over the past few months. and my group Hi-Five was chosen to present. (one of the first things that crossed my mind when i fell ill was good thing i did not agree to present, or else my absence would have caused more inconvenience...)

no chance to wear that group tee with the rest of the group.

Sunday night, (morning rather) i went to sleep at 2.30am...kept tossing and turning until i felt i had better rush to toilet. yeap. puked. and from then on, every half-hourly i woke up and puke. i felt so weak after 4 times of vomitting (food->water->bile juice) and 2 times of diarrhoea.

since the last time was 6 in the morning, i thought it would be wiser not to go to school after all. and the whole day was just lying in bed. was a really tough time bringing me down to the clinic(just a block away) and bringing me back home. had to sit at the staircase after coming out of the lift. grrrr.

my food intake was WOW. near to zero.

and therefore it was tough to start taking food again today. and suay suay my jai thai beef noodle had a stupid fly in the soup. *wails* after buying some stuff at thomson, my body went weak and needed re-charging. slept for few hours and we came back home to celebrate mum's birthday. ate at the seafood tze-char at ulu pandan (nice) but i only took pathetic amount of food because of gastric pain.

i already forgot my bag and left it in d's house.... and i forgot my handphone and left it at the seafood place! grrr.... i hate myself man. good thing they kept it for me at the counter so we just went back to take....

the mind's really weak after many hours of dizziness and sleep. i need constant reminders from d' from now on... don't assume i can remember.. cos' i don't. i keep saying the wrong things too. arghhhh brain damage.

anyway, here are the pics from just now..!

SMAP concerts.... US!

2008-09-24T14:14:00.003+08:00

my 2 sets of concert dvds arrived last wednesday. i think "excited" was the only word to describe me then. just imagine a kid happily opening his new box of toy. that was me. haha smiling & grinning while carefully opening the box and dvd case. and i finished PoP Up! concert 2006 that evening. and i was super hyper & high after that.. dear could do nothing to stop me from jumping around... best concert after MIJ 2003!

check this video out. very nice song from Pop Up! "STAY"

Sample 2005 wasn't as good. I personally prefer Pop Up! 2006. man, just in Aug and Sept, I've spent $300 on 2 SMAP concerts and 3 takuya dramas... but i feel ecstatic buying them... forget about F4 and all other groups. i'll just stay with tk.

bryan, we saw a wedding party banner at aloha loyang chalet last sat. it wrote "Mr. & Mrs. Bryan Seet". haha... coincidental! combination of ann's and your name.

oh went for ajisen ramen with dear last night. GOOD RAMEN! :) we miss japan o-so-much. japan for honeymoon was original plan.. cos we know the place already. but i am thinking of europe now... like paris, or rome! haha... romantic~ but japan is where we both feel attached to.. let's just wait and see...

we walked past precious thots and dear finally bought me my mickey!!! haha whooping 100 over bucks. sorry, i seem like a total spendthrift... but i wanted this long ago... i told him i'm not gg to marry if he doesn't buy me this months ago. he kept saying okok... we've been into the shops and looked at this cute figurine few times already. and there may be no more stock if we wait till next year. SO when i really said i was going to buy it just on the spot yesterday, he offered to pay and got it for me! i want one for every precious moment in my life.... i want the baby figurines, i want those sitting lovingly in the sofa set, and those anniversary kinds...

i want us to live "Magically Ever After"....... :)

* escape * chalet *

2008-09-22T22:15:00.001+08:00

it has become a habit to blog just once a week. 3day week for NIE is gonna start next wk. okay that was a bit random.

i had a good and fruitful weekend again. how about u guys?!

how was it so? let's talk about friday night. cos' it marked the start of a weekend. d' came over after his dinner with his dad. then we went out at 10plus. with no destination or plan in mind. that's very rare because i hate having the kinda feeling whereby i do not know what will happen next. i dislike having no plans ahead and just roaming about aimlessly.

but on friday i thought perhaps let's just go for a spin. but i did not tell d'. when he started driving, we still had no where in mind. so we drove along sunset way to find the ice cream shop. closed was the word for us. haato ice cream along ulu pandan then. but we couldn't find it. then we continued driving. d' said 'why not we just drive around singapore?' hahah... see? we think alike. but i then suggested ps cafe at dempsey. so we drove to dempsey... saw my ex colleagues from margarita's. :) walked around to check out the restaurants up the high class hill.. haha and the we left the place!! we thought why not thomson prata (wendy's spize) but it was closed! so we drove to thomson to pump petrol and then came back home. both got out of house wanting to visit toilet (mum was inside when we left hse) but did not manage to all the way till when we got back home. haha... but it was nice... he loves driving. i like nagging at him when he drives. ha! =X

saturday morning began with a family breakfast at tak po's dimsum restaurant. my treat. d' & i went to escape themepark again after we dropped mum off. hahah d' felt queasy so he did not play much but i made him join me for the wet & wild. hahahah my god. he made me laugh all the way after the first splash. PROVEN. the one sitting in front is safer from the big splash. i turned back to look at him after the first splash. i was alright but there was a wet chicken behind me. hahahah... what happens after the higher slope and bigger splash? he just got wetter. and wetter. he only managed to have his clothes dry again when we left. the pirate ship was cool. haha... we both got slightly sunburnt. sandal marks, watch mark, shorts and tee shirt sleeve marks.

recce aloha loyang. not suitable for our ROM anymore. so we just left for the chalet at changi. the chalet was huge. it was his department's function. but i helped to book the chalet. bbq-ed from 6 till 2.30am? hahah.. there was break in between, then eating, then drinking games.. it was fun. but i just thought perhaps everyone could help out a bit. we booked the place, we bbq-ed (with Ron, boss & care bear), we washed the dishes and what not, and we returned the place and tidied it before we left. people coming in as late as 9plus and all they did was to sit down with their girlfriends and eat and eat and eat. come on'. BARBEQUE. you need to barbeque for it to be called that. why not let's just all go to a restaurant huh? but thank goodness there were a few nice people to help out... so it wasn't that bad. i just dislike people to come for BBQ but all they do is eat and eat. at least offer your help? that would really be appreciated..

the chalet was too big so it was kinda scary. haha. only his boss' family and the 2 of us stayed for the night. his boss left us bottles of wine and alcohol. loads of marinated food from the bbq supplier were left too. and other stuff like handsoap, kitchen towel, mosquito repellent (d' said he can use it for his reservist! haha so handy.) we brought them all back for his house. and the food was our dinner last night. yummy was the word. oh and we checked out fairy point 7 before we left changi. seems like a nice place for a garden party. more research needed. i hope purple sage can do wonder! :)

daryl shoe-maker is going to work from this wed till sun at the F1 race venue. So i will not get to see him....... will miss him. no doubt about that. but i've planned gatherings and ktv session this week. heh to keep myself occupied. G4 gathering dinner this wed, primary school gathering lunch this sat and ktv with cousins this sunday!

baby, i will be thinking of you all day all week long! *muahh*

how's your weekend??

2008-09-16T22:20:00.002+08:00

great. so the problem lies with my tagboard. i can't have a blog which doesn't show my links and my archives. will probably get a new tag soon. maybe. haha

so how was your weekend??

mine was great :) beams

what's better than spending mid-autumn festival with your loved ones?? yes, it was the first time dear spent mid-autumn with me AND my big maternal family! (he had to leave for a job at 1am that night... poor thing...good thing the phone call came after the celebration) we carried lanterns, took loads of pictures, ate mooncakes, drank chinese tea at the garden downstairs (grandma's place). grandma has swollen feet so she couldn't join us downstairs. i gave her some money because i had a small increment having joined the service for a year. that made her glad... because we let her know we love her!

pictures!

while waiting to go downstairs, my sis & i got really bored...the close family!

okay i have to confess i have fallen prey into cute stuff these few months. pooh bear...hello kitty...my goodness. but they're too cute to resist. ok pooh bear soft toy from my students, pooh bear mat (i don't even know what to do with it now). i saw a hello kitty accessories box at a fair and after a few days of mental struggle, i have decided to buy it yesterday and dear mummy helped me slash the price by 8 bucks. but i still had to pay $80. haha... no regrets. I'm beginning to hate myself more because i used to be more decisive when it comes to shopping (which may not really be good) i could have bought it easily on the spot last wednesday. but the high price stopped me. i looked at the same box, touched the box, 2 times and still couldn't decide. and sis said shouldn't buy hello kitty because i am already 23! putting diamonds and other jewellery in that a kitty box don't really match. haha. but yesterday mummy recognise the box immediately at the stall before she met me and she said it's nice too.

sis came back home and told me excitedly she saw the box too and asked if i wanna buy. haha! but i have already bought it. and i was happily putting my accessories into it this afternoon.... really useful. now i can see all my accessories at one glance (used to put them into small pouches and you'll get lazy and won't bother to open them up) and wear them more often! tada!! here is my big accessory box!

one & only idol

2008-09-09T17:38:00.001+08:00

just spent 236 dollars online shopping again. not for clothes this time though. it's for SMAP concerts. i ordered both concerts in 2005 & 2006!! first press sold out for both items. wonder what i will receive... but i'm still excited!! i just wanna keep a copy. stupid HMV is selling the one & only 2005 SAMPLE concert dvd left in singapore i suppose, but at 200 over bucks. insane. i ordered 2 concerts and including shipping charges cost 236. isn't HMV too much?

but i can imagine how scary my bills will turn out in october....

i am nuts. i recently went takuya crazy again after watching CHANGE in august. so i bought 2 more of his dramas. haha. and now 2 more concerts! this is my collection after buying CHANGE. not including the 4 new items. i've lost count on how much i've spent on his dramas, books, magazines, concert dvds, posters, photographs etc. thank goodness he's my only idol now.......... hah! these 2 concert dvds are the most expensive items so far man... the collectible drama box set (the black one) and tk's biograpgy both cost $49.90 each and they're no longer the most expensive item now...

but i have no regrets :) his items actually fetch higher prices over time! but i'm not thinking of making money out of them. can imagine a cupboard full of TK items in the study room of my new flat. hahah..